cnvilla's Journal

For the last few weeks I have been feeling sad, I guess its because of everything going on here at home and the World.. I Pray I get over this sadness, My husband is hardly ever home and my Girls are on summer vacation and the youngest is always wanting to spend time with her friends and my oldest is always having friends over and I am always left alone..I guess I realize my children are No Longer children and they are pulling away.. I have alot of time to go out and help people but when ever I get ready to go theres no gas and since I do not work I don't have the money thats so sad! anyway I will get gas one of these days and Maybe I will go and keep going, Thats just how I feel today.. I have a right to Rant because everyone else does it and for some reason I hardly ever do it, Maybe my hormones are all out of whack Who Knows!! I am sure I will feel better soon and then I will apoligize to everyone..But just in case,  I am sorry for making anyone feel bad for the way I feel.. Its just a part of being Human, men feel bad at times the same as we as women do and alot of times its because they lost there jobs, they have family problems or they are ill, I pray we all get over this sadness..Today I feel sad because I hear so many bad things being said, My niece Suzie came over and she has three half black children from the ages of 15 to 8 and I love them all, I also have nieces that are half black from my other brother and apparently  My Niece Suzie told them that I do not like them because they are black and that is so hurtful, I love all my nieces and nephews and its not anyones fault as to why they are different colors. Yet Suzie comes over and leaves her kids here with me and then goes back and says I did not want to watch my two year old niece because she is black, Now how dumb is that.. I watch all my other black nieces and nephews and just because I say no to them because the baby does not even know me and she had no clothes or diapers and she is so tiny she looks like a year old baby if that. How could they expect me to babysit so that they could go prostitute.. I will not babysit  because she did not know me and Its not fair to her or to me. Anyway there not the type of people I like around me and I will not tolerate the gossip. Am I wrong? I feel these girls are exploiting there Bodies and I want no part of it.. I guess this is one reason I feel so sad.Take care and God Bless you all.

                                                                  Cathy