Journal

I gave a lot of thought on whether to put this in poetry form or just in normal text and I decided against poetry this go around.

As I sit back and meditate on things it has occured to me that as rule people never fight as hard for themselves as they do others. We go out of our way for other people, they make movies where the hero or heroine somehow fight off death or come back not for themselves but for the sake of someone else. It seems to me in this world we have a misplaced set of morals and values. Somewhere along the line we are taught that doing for ourselves is selfish. I think about the people I have met on DS and one common thread they all have is that in some form or fashion they gave all of themselves and endured for the sake of another. It seems to me that one of the greatest issues in this world is that people will not take care of themselves for the sake of themselves. It is great in the movies where for the sake of their love for another that someone comes back to life or fights through hell, but why is it not acceptable to do so for yourself? The funny thing is that everyone here will agree that I should take care of myself and do things for me and yet everyone here will ignore that advice when it comes to themselves. We all fall on our collective swords in a great display of self-sacrafice for others but won't do for ourselves. Doing for others is great but sooner or later we have to wake up and realize if we never do for ourselves we won't be around long to do for others. We keep people in our lives that take, take, take and then won't rid ourselves of them because we have grown used to the mistreatment. I have often wondered how many people in this world have conditions similar to military men coming out of prison camps in Vietnam because of the relationships and aquaintances they choose to keep. How many of us are in relational prison camps? How many of us are in mental or emotional prison camps? How many of us are in these prison camps because we refuse to stand up and say "I am important too and right now I need to take care of me"? How many of us will never fight out of the prison camps of our past and/or present because we have been taught by society that doing for ourselves is wrong?

Everyone here said I needed to go on the cruise I went on over the summer. I needed to do it for me. I needed to do it because I needed a vacation etc. Yet there are plenty in this country and world that would tell me how many homeless people could have been fed with the money I spent on the cruise. I would be lectured about splurging in these uncertain economic times and told I should not have spent the money or given it to others. Why in the hell is it so wrong now a days to do for yourself? I have been poor before. I lost my house in freaking foreclosure, I have busted my ass to get where I am and yet seemingly since I am not instead giving all of my money away I am wrong. I like helping others, however I think I am allowed to do for myself too.

Just as I think I am allowed to do for myself it is my sincere hope that others will wake up and realize they can do for themselves as well.