Join Now
tiareflower 
7:24pm, November 1, 2009
It's been a crazy day/night for me.
I was heading to tafe as normal when I suddenly felt anxiety build up. I arrived only to suddenly feel like I just couldn't handle it.
I took the bus home. And began walking and I could literally feel my heart beating too fast, I felt dizzy and extremely overwhelmed by everything. I called my mum to pick me up. I tried getting myself together but as soon as I entered her car. I broke down. I just couldn't stop crying, sobbing and shaking. My mum kept asking me what was wrong and eventually everything spilled out. my depression, my anxiety. my assault and attempted raoe that happened a couple of months ago. And my eating disorder.
I just couldn't stop shaking and crying. My mum did so well handling me. she just hugged me and said she was there for me. and that she always will love me not matter what. But I was feeling worse so she took me to the emergency part in the hospital. the drive there was horrible. it takes about 30 min drive to our major hospital. Eventually I was taken in, a psych doctor came in and spoke to my mum. Eventually they gave me some stuff to calm down and organised an appointment to go to a hospital where they have a crisis team. My mum says that are going to help me sort out my issues with my anxiety and the assault. And also that I would have to speak about my eating issues too. Eventually I was sent home with some sleeping tablets. My mum says that she called my sister who will be there tomorrow morning too. I'm scared. I'm petrified because they keep saying that I will have to tell the police soon or later. I dont even remember who it was. I cant even remember a face. all i want to is to be better and forget everything. I'm so scared to what they will say. I'm scared of what people think. Im scared that they will just laugh at me and say that Im just a waste of time. This is the lowest of the low i have ever felt in my life. I know that this is the best thing for me to go to. Im scared how they will react. Im scared what they will do to me...
My mum says that its not my fault. And that really, im just very sick. alot more than i think. god give me strength.
I was heading to tafe as normal when I suddenly felt anxiety build up. I arrived only to suddenly feel like I just couldn't handle it.
I took the bus home. And began walking and I could literally feel my heart beating too fast, I felt dizzy and extremely overwhelmed by everything. I called my mum to pick me up. I tried getting myself together but as soon as I entered her car. I broke down. I just couldn't stop crying, sobbing and shaking. My mum kept asking me what was wrong and eventually everything spilled out. my depression, my anxiety. my assault and attempted raoe that happened a couple of months ago. And my eating disorder.
I just couldn't stop shaking and crying. My mum did so well handling me. she just hugged me and said she was there for me. and that she always will love me not matter what. But I was feeling worse so she took me to the emergency part in the hospital. the drive there was horrible. it takes about 30 min drive to our major hospital. Eventually I was taken in, a psych doctor came in and spoke to my mum. Eventually they gave me some stuff to calm down and organised an appointment to go to a hospital where they have a crisis team. My mum says that are going to help me sort out my issues with my anxiety and the assault. And also that I would have to speak about my eating issues too. Eventually I was sent home with some sleeping tablets. My mum says that she called my sister who will be there tomorrow morning too. I'm scared. I'm petrified because they keep saying that I will have to tell the police soon or later. I dont even remember who it was. I cant even remember a face. all i want to is to be better and forget everything. I'm so scared to what they will say. I'm scared of what people think. Im scared that they will just laugh at me and say that Im just a waste of time. This is the lowest of the low i have ever felt in my life. I know that this is the best thing for me to go to. Im scared how they will react. Im scared what they will do to me...
My mum says that its not my fault. And that really, im just very sick. alot more than i think. god give me strength.
UPDATED GOALS
Comments
You know you need to not think about peoples reaction, if they laugh then they are just stupid, like you have said, this could be a great thing for you. with the assault, just say what you remember, you have been through something traumatic, you know im glad you have the support around your mother and sister being there, take advantage of the fact that they are there for you, good luck with tomorrow, let me know how it goes.......
ShazzerInc
Its great you have support....try and be greatfull even though it is hard.Get out and help someone else, it ill make you feel better....you need action not words....good luck
bink88