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NitaSue62 
I MET C AND R WHEN WE WERE 12. WE MET AT THE PRIVATE SCHOOL WE ATTENDED. WE ARE STILL FRIENDS TODAY. SADLY, I DON'T GET TO SEE THEM VERY OFTEN. I MISS THEM A LOT.
WHEN WE WERE KIDS HANGING OUT AT THE MALL, OR AT THE MOVIES, AT SLUMBER PARTIES, I *ALWAYS* FELT LIKE I WAS THE ODD ONE, YOU KNOW, THAT FEELING OF THREE'S A CROWD. I NEVER VOICED THIS B/C I KNEW THEY WOULD JUST GIGGLE AT ME, BUT DEEP IN MY HEART, I INHERENTLY KNEW I WAS THE WEIRD ONE. C AND R JUST SMOOTHLY LIVED THEIR LIVES, WHILE I DEALT WITH DEPRESSION, PANIC, AND OTHER MENTAL ISSUES.
WHEN I WAS AT ONE THEIR HOMES, I WOULD ACTUALLY FEEL SICK. SOMETIMES, I GO HIDE IN THE BATHROOM AND QUIETLY CRY INTO A TOWEL. I FELT LIKE SECRETLY, PEOPLE WERE WHISPERING ABOUT ME.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT MY PROBLEM WAS/IS. MAYBE B/C OF MY HOME LIFE. MAYBE B/C OF BEING BORN SICK. HELL, I JUST DON'T KNOW. I JUST KNOW THAT I AM NOT A POPULAR PERSON AND IT IS PAINFUL FOR ME TODAY JUST AS IT WAS YEARS AGO. I STILL FEEL LIKE THE FREAK.
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Oh darling, you're not a freak. If it makes you feel any better, me and my friend both have mental and physical ailments...and when we hang out with out less ailment burdened friends....they're the ones who feel like the odd ones out. Because the 2 of us understand each other so well.
However, I try to include everyone of my friends into my little world...or a different part of it anyways. Just because you're not popular...doesn't mean that you're a freak. Do remember you have a Social Disorder(even if you were never diagnosed with one), so for you to be popular...well, that wouldn't come by naturally for you. They do say that 3's a crowd...but it depends on the bond of friendship between the 3. For instance, me and ONE of my friends are so close that people consider us BEST friends...but neither of us believes in "best friend" labels. So, we just consider each other close friends. But I have a different bond with each of my friends...some closer, some not so close at all.
I will admit that I've never been popular either...but given that you and I are so different...I have a tendency to be able to converse easily with other people. However, you are much like my friend. She hates public functions, places or such which force her to potentially deal with other people. She doesn't like to meet new people too much...unless they have similar interests right off the bat. She doesn't like to do too many new things...unless they align with her interests and hobbies. That doesn't make her a freak though...that just makes her different. And if an outgoing, hyper person like me...can become close friends with someone who's antisocial, withdrawn, depressed, has a tendency to experience psychosis, has a heart condition AND the mentality focus of an elementary school aged child....then there's someone out there who will see you for who you are and won't mind that you're different.
*hugs* I'm sorry that you felt that way with your friends. But, there is still hope out there for you...there are people who are drawn to those who have ailments...for whatever reason. I know I tend to be. *hugs*
ImpulsiveREtardednes