fafereenee's Journal

Basically, I dont really recall a long period of time when i've felt happy since i was a kid. I get happy sometimes, but It doesnt last long. I dont have a bad life or anything. A few things have happened that could definitely cause tiems of depression (parents always arguing, eventual separation and divorce, dad kind of went scary (but mellowed out ALOT now), my sister getting married to a jerk, her getting divorced and being a -pardon my language- shit head, etc. (he's mellowed out and gotten quite a bit better to actually)), but I feel this way even when nothing is wrong. I dont really know. Alot of my family suffer with it and stuff, but I dont really want to be on medication for it or anything - I dont want to become dependant on it. I dont know why I feel this way. I don't think it's just 'cause I'm too bored or anything either. I dont hang out with people much, but I like to take pictures and draw and photoshop and run (although i havent for about a year! yikes! haha). I go to community college (a great one!!). So, It cant just be that my ife is boring and uneventful. I dont know what to do at all or why I feel this way...