Tysey's Journal

Some people have asked me about this weekend and sometimes I can not remember everything I wrote so I'm putting in my journal for anyone interested.

First let me explain how the weekend goes ---
Basically a presiding couple speaks to you on the subject at hand and explains how their weekend went when they first went. After the subject is discussed then we are given a question to answer in the form of a "Love Letter" to our spouse. We have to explain our feeling on the subject and explain in a way that your spouse would understand - like " I felt dirty like being pushed into a mud puddle". No blaming just my feeling to him. We have a dialogue of our feelings so that the other can understand how intense that feeling is.


Friday was horrible! We got into a huge fight when we tried to "share" on the first question and I went to bed alone and my H thought about getting a taxi home!!!

On Saturday morning it was still tense BUT finally our session before lunch we had a TOTAL BREAK THROUGH. It was about trust and due to what I wrote he finally understood why I have to know certain things about the affair. That I do not want to know who touched who or what was said to each other in detail BUT that I needed to know that he NEVER said he loved her or that he ever wanted to be with her. He never gave her any reason to think he was interested in her in any way except for a sounding board that mistakenly ended up in bed. I looked into his eyes and he finally shared with me how deeply and truely sorry he is for hurting me and that he knows that he can not go back but he would if he could. He finally understood that I do not want to "relive" it either but not answering my questions and just blowing it off did not help my mind going.

I have to say that after him sharing his feeling about the affair with me I now have a new found peace within me. I know that I will still think about the affair But now I'm not obsessed(spelling was not my best subject!!!!) with the affair and her. I know he wants to be Fully with me and only me. I know he regrets everything that happened - that he does not think about her and if he has to because I brought something up he just wants to throw up.

I totally recommend this to anyone. My husband has always had problems sharing his feeling and would rather walk away and clam up instead of sharing BUT this weekend has changed him also - he knows that he needs to show and tell me how he feels for us to have a marriage - not just about the affair BUT everything - the kids - family - work EVERYTHING!!!!

The website for this Marriage encounter is www.wwme.org

They are everywhere and even though they are faith orintatied - it's not shoved down you. They did have mass on Saturday morning which we did not go to and then mass on Sunday before we left and we did stay for that because we were blessed and also renewed our vows to each other.