Bunny87's Journal

     Lately I've been feeling really blah.  I've been kind of depressed for a few weeks now.  I'm used to bouts of depression, but it has never lasted this long before.  That's what made me find new therapy to try.  I'm so tired of doing one-on-one therapy with a pschologist!  They just end up making me feel worse about myself.  I hate feeling like I'm sick or different from other people.  And I hate other people thinking that I'm so fragile and if you leave me alone for 2 seconds then I'll kill myself.  Sigh...what's a poor white girl trying to make it in America to do?

     So I have moderate acne, and I've had it for 8 years, so, as you can imagine, I'm REALLY tired of it.  I've decided to give Accutane a try, since it's pretty much my last resort.  But because I'm bipolar I have to get the approval of my meds doctor before I can start it.  No approval, no Accutane.  Sigh...I know he's just going to start this mumbo-jumbo about how risky it is and he'll try to change my meds like he does every time I see him.  But the deal is that if I start getting depressed from the Accutane then they will take me off it immediately, so there really isn't the risk that some people seem to think there is with this drug.  I have just gotten to the point where I want this over with.  I'm tired of looking like this.  I'm tired of having a low self-esteem.  I'm tired of not feeling beautiful.

     My boyfriend and I are trying to buy a townhome.  I'm so excited!  I feel really good about this, and I want a garage and a yard for my dogs.  I REALLY can't wait for the yard; taking your dogs for a walk in blizzards year after year isn't the magical dream one might think it is.

     Well, I guess that's all I'm going to write for now.