exoticize's Journal

You know, one time when Sheena ran after Todd and I had a fight, I got a call the next morning saying she was in the animal hospital.  I freaked, but the lady told me to stay calm, Sheena was OK and just got out of SURGERY and was in the OXYGEN CHAMBER because the coyotes got to her throat and she needed extra help breathing!!!!!!!!!!

Talk about freaking out.  I grabbed my purse and headed out to my car, calling my Dad at the same time.  My Dad told me to wait for him and he would drive me there!  Good idea, because I'm sure I would've tore through the parking lot, chasing anyone and everything outta the way.  So I started walking and my Dad was there within 2 minutes.  When I got there, I ran in the back, not caring about "Rules".  The vet who worked on her was called (of course), and she came out and found me by Sheena, who was sitting up stock still frozen even AFTER the surgery and sedatives.  The Dr. told me what happened and what she did in surgery, and that Sheena will be ok, it will just take a lot of care, etc etc etc.  It was just background noise, as Sheena and I locked eyes, and communicated.  Immediately her body relaxed and her muscles released.  That's when I realized that I had to calm myself first in order to calm her.  So, I put my hand up to the chamber, and Sheena went closer to my hand.  Then I started singing my song to her, and I could see her eyes getting sleepy, although she was still standing there.  I told her to "sit", which she slowly did, then "down" which she did, and just kept singing to her until she finally rested her head down as well.  It took a good 1/2 hour to get her to close her eyes and start trusting the surroundings enough to go to sleep.  I would wait about 5 minutes, slowly quieting my singing to get her used to me being gone, then try to back away.  Sheena didn't fall for it!!! :)))  She would rouse and open her eyes again, so I'd come back and do the same thing, keep my hand next to her face and sing my song.  That took another 15 minutes until she finally was in a deep sleep, and I could slowly back away and let her rest without her panicking again!

That sure tells you the intense bond between Shibas and their owners!!!

Then, after I was clear of the vet and in the car, I broke down and cried and freaked out and everything!!!!   I was SO mad at Todd, and should've broken it off completely with him right then and there!!!  I even bought a house in another state, and is why I'm here in Austin, TEXAS!!! of all places.

I'm sorry, I've got tears running down my face right now....because it was too late.  The next big fight, here in Austin, on Valentines Day, caused Sheena to bolt again, because I'm pretty sure that the drunk Todd didn't close the gate.   HOW COULD HE!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????

I sat up all night in the couch with the windows and door open so she could come back home.  But got the life-changing call at 6am, after I had finally passed out at 5 or 5:30am!!!! 

I could tell you the rest if you'd like to hear it, which is really cathartic to me, because Todd was not there for me, and never talked about her or mentioned her name. 

It was only after nearing her 1 yr anniversary that I started reaching out in online forums, and met some other girls who were going through depression or something similar, that I found out how important I was to just a few people, and ended up on the Kasamba site, where I now advise others, and make a little bit of money to start taking care of myself, little by little!  I'm not saving up to get the gas turned back on.  But food for me and the little ones come first!!!"

That was the story about my little girl.  I haven't even been able to get any farther than that, like what happened when I found her body.

I guess that will come next.

Enough emotions for one day.

Love & Peace

Eliza