Raemoth's Journal

Well my husband is better and back to work he starts tomorrow. The kids start day care tomorrow as well I have mixed feelings on that one. They have never been to day care they have always been home with me or my husband but it is something that should be good for them.

Thanksgiving and Christmas is going to be hard on me this year my husbands cousin is expecting her 3rd child soon she is 27 weeks. While everyone is ooooing and awwwwing the new baby I am going to be trying to hold the tears in. My husband asked me do you want to get pregnant right now with everything that is going on you know it isn't the right time. I told him no I don't want get pregnant I want to still be pregnant I want our baby back I want to be able to show him/her off to everyone. I want that warm small bundle to hold love and protect but all I have is the pain of knowing that one of my children is gone and I am never going to know her. My little Sanie was with is for so short a time but so very much loved.