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JEAN97 
9:00pm, June 11, 2009
I would like it to stop though. I seem to b going round and round 4 yrs. now. It is time to stop. I am getting dizzy and tired. I Everyday I do the dumbest/stupidest things. How did I ever get to b this age if not 4 him. His everyday guidance, wisdom, always showing me the way to do things RIGHT. I have live with this verbal and mental abuse 4 yrs. and yrs. But u know what it is my fault 4 being so dumb. Well actually I should have been strong enough to leave along time ago. While I was much younger. Y did I take it 4 so many yrs. What a ASS I am. Now witth his health issues....but my daughter and I both have health issues and we will never get well in this house. He always saids he is sick too. But he is the 1 who starts everyday with something. Today I hung the rugs downstairs wrong, I forgot to shut off the light when I turned off the radio, I go shopping too much, i spend too much money, I didn't go the garbage the way he does, I forgot to feel up the ice cube trays...was that anything else in that 15 minutes he just bitched at me......this is almost everyday unless he is being needy( as he isn't feeling well and he needs me to either help him or do something 4 him) If only I could have been stronger yrs ago. Now what. I am just trying to live day to day. Bye 4 now journel.
Comments
It certainly doesnt get any better does it!! I wish you could have beens stronger years ago as well, but we dont know these things then do we? I think you just hope things might better.
I hope you manage to get some time for yourself away from all this,thats what I do,I couldnt cope if I didnt.
Deep breaths and relax.
Take care, Hugs. xxx
bonnytiz