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laraM 
I am just as surprised to write this as you are to read it: So far nothing has gone wrong with this cycle. I am waiting, not in a pessimistic way, for something to go wrong/change. It almost feels inevitable (and yes, I realize I still have 2 weeks before transfer - plenty of time!). Right now, transfer is scheduled for the 11th of November. The 12th is a holiday so I wouldn't have to take off work and the 13th and 14th we don't have students b/c it is midterm...perfect timing!!!!
Yesterday was b/w and u/s. Everything looked good so I stay on Lupron (daily) and Estrogen injections (every third day) and go back next Tuesday. If things still look good I stop Lupron and start progesterone.
I am excited and hopeful. We have done so much different for this cylce...1) the Humira - which supposedly has lowered my natural killer cells 2) the steroid - which despite the weight gain should also be helping with the nkcells 3) New vitamin for MTHFR 4) baby aspirin and Lovenox - for the clotting issues 5) different estrogen
I can't lie, I am having waves of "what the heck am I going to do if this doesn't work." I don't want to feel that feeling of utter disappointment again...The feeling doesn't last long and I am trying not to fight it, rather let it come and go...but it is there.
We are having our annual Halloween party this weekend (it actually isn't annual since we didn't have it the last two years b/c we were mid-cycle). So, we are resurrecting our Halloween party and it has been the perfect distraction from the emotional piece of this cycle. I can focus on the FET more next week - preparing for the party only leaves me 2 weeks to obsess!
Thank you all for your continued support. You are wonderful!
Lara
Comments
I am really hoping and praying that this is it for you. Enjoy your Halloween Party and the 11th will be here soon.
jkelly
Aw, Lara... Do nice to hear all is going well. Keep journalling. Vent those worries out. We're all hoping and praying for you, girl. Believe in the possibilty! Everything is going just as planned. Your BFP is right in front of you ;). xoxo *hugs*
jptobe
So great to hear that things are going so well!!!! You deserve this happiness and all that will follow! I think it's only natural for worries to creep in. Acknowledge them and then put them on the back burner. Everything is going well and it is going to continue to go well, and this is going to work for you!!!! I have a ton of faith that it will!!!!
Jenn17
I am crossing my fingers that this is your time! Hope you have a fabulous Halloween party, sounds like fun!! xoxo
bcgradgirl
Fingers and toes crossed! This is your time!
klimawife
So GOOD to hear that thnigs are ticking along nicely..... those what if thoughts are completely natural. Wishing you lots & lots of sticky dust! :)
Z1977
It is nice to read that everything is going well. I am glad you are having the Halloween part for a distraction and some much needed FUN! :-) I am praying for this cycle to be THE cycle when it all comes together and you finally get your BFP! Only positive thoughts my friend!
Lioness816
It all sounds great! And the party sounds like lots of fun . . . and just what you need right now! This was our "different" cycle too - it hit us as we went - everything was different this time. Once he realized it, DH was all about "different" . . . even drove a different car to ER and ET . . . different, after all we've been through, is wonderful. I will be cheering you on . . . let me know if there's ANYTHING I can do for you . . . get ready! . . . because that BFP is on it's way to you!!!!!!!!
Debbieb
woo hoo! I love hearing that things are going well.. I am sending you all the positive vibes I can find!
Shanny2007
I am glad this cycle is going well. I am praying for you!!!! Best of luck, come on BFP!!!
ErikaCas
Lara, it sounds like they have everything covered and that you are on a great, stable regime of meds. I am going to keep my fingers crossed for you and this upcoming transfer. I want to see you posting in a few weeks that you've got a positive HPT! ;) Even though I'm pregnant now, I still have those thoughts of "What the heck am I going to do if..." It still doesn't feel totally real to me. I guess maybe it will when the baby starts moving and kicking. Right now it just feels like I'm suffering from the flu and a stomach virus.
I am pulling for you! I can't wait for the next few weeks to just fly by! :)
Happy Halloween, too!
Jennifer
BethlehemBaby
Good luck this cycle! What is the new MTHFR medication you are taking? I'm sending you lots of sticky baby dust!
YvonneKB
YAHOO! I am not surprised all is going well! See I too think there is so much different about this cycle that we should expect a different outcome!
(NOTE: I am going to say some things here you may, & I hope you DO, toss back my way )
Your doubt & fear are normal! They will continue to wave their ugly head. BUT you can control how you respond. Just as you said when it comes... deal with it & let it go.! I actually have decided that when I need to I will yell, when I feel the need to whine, I will whine & when I an in doubt I go to someone I know will reassure me. That is how I am choosing to do this "different."
Lets enjoy each moment as it comes & the ones that aren't so wonderful I am trying to remind myself, this too will pass! Until then live in the NOW! KEEP SMILEN & whe hope is difficult, walk in faith to the next moment it will come!!!
MUCH LOVE & BIG HUGS!!!!
Jcurly
Yay for 'different'!! I'm really excited that things are coasting along exactly as they should be! Hope you had fun at the party:)
PrioleauLuv
Good luck! I'm hoping everything continues to run smooth for this FET and you get your BFP!
brenskopf