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torturedone 
i hate that the people around me that are worth a damn have to suffer because im trying not to hurt my wife especially she's great she atleast try's to help me i dont like people they hurt me but i dont want to hurt anybody i would be happy if i could just loose the play by play recaps {from begining to end of that crap that happened in wish that i could take away all of your pain
i want everybody to know that i would rather die than to live with this shit but im to much of a coward to kill myself but i feel that if i dont get help soon it might be the end i love my wife but she dont deserve to have to deal with me and my stupid shit
i would like to erase all my memories before my wife i was so scared when my kids were born i thought that i might pass this same shitty legacy on to them thats why i dont have my kids and i know that atleast im not going to pass that on to them maybe one day probabley after im dead that they were atleast not hurt by me in that way
i miss themso much, but im not somebody they need to be around, they will hate me but atleast. i wont be the one that hurt them in that way
Comments
i will never be able to have a normal life because of my past
torturedone
if i ever hered of one of my friends messin with a kid or raping any one i would punish them severelychildren should be allowed to be kids not have to grow up to fast
torturedone
I love you so much and just know that no matter what happens or goes on in our lives, I will always be there for you. It's only a labor of love! I love you
ilovemyman
i dont nknow how to make my wife feel better about the fact that because of me we are about to loose everything because i dont have a job ive had atleist 50 jobs and im currently filing for disability and mentally un able to work i try and try to hold my head up i get nocked back down and she deserves more than i could give her i wish i would have all ready died so she dont have to deal with my crap anymore i wish i could cry but i cant since i was a kid around six y old i dont know what to do everybodies wanting money and i have nothing but pocket lint i wish there was agod to drop a bunch of money in my lap so i could pay my bills offbut so she could smile like she used to
torturedone
i always keep trying but i always get kicked inthe face im tired of trieingi want to end my shame so bad but theres a little spark left when thats gone i dont know what will happen next
torturedone
im tired of being abused by this life i cant take it anymore my mother and father and brother have used me in one form or another and my wife thinks im to harsh on them well there the ones that hurt me so if anybody reads this my name is damon summers and im 36years old all of you out there i have experienced it or atleast most of it you can make the most of it dont be like me try to get as much help for yourself as possible when confronted deal with itn then dont let the bad people hurt you its safe for you to seperate yourself from them ive worked and worked and it got me now were ive been to prizon and it looks like im going back to prizon or worst because i cant bring my beautiful wife down anymore she deserves more than i could give her i hope she knows how much i love her i should have realized that i would hurt her before now i actually thought it would work this time but im damaged beyond repair
torturedone
this weekend i reallized there is a god and he wants me to keep trying my wife has been the greatest i was mean to my parentsand that wasnt cool but they are the ones i have to protect my self against they dont under stand why but but i have to kick them to the curb because its holding me back i think back to the first time i was mulested actually it is a flash back and i have them so bad that it physycally hurts and i have a emajineary friend called Alex and he most of the time deals with that so my mind doesnt lock up and he talks to me when im alone i guess he takes care of me when times are hard or even keeps people from hurting me or he trys at least
torturedone
hes the brother i never had but i dont want to tell the drs or they might put me away
torturedone
well i went to work for the second day and it was alright but i feel like a retard causse i know what im doing but the boss is really old and wants evertything done his way but he is pretty nice so far but it can bewurse i would just like to be paid what im worth or at least as close to it as possible well i only got angry a couple of times today one cause some one was looking at me in a off kinda way and then when i got dropped of at my wifes work but its not a long lasting anger it just seems like she thinks im a dumb ass all the time and she never gets what im trying to help her with and she asked me my wife i meanwhats going on or how do you do this it just seems that she dont care what i want or need just as long as she gets what she wants or hears what she wants to hear well anyway i love her so much it just rides the last never
torturedone