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MaineGirl011108 
6:09am, November 12, 2009
Well, where to begin? It has been so long since I've journaled. I've missed you all during my 3 1/2 month depression. It's time to update you all on how we are doing since our move to Maine.
First, about Riley. She is very happy in Texas. Even though they've only lived there for 5 1/2 months, she has made new friends, both in school, a neighhbor boy, and in girl scouts. Her girl scout troop sounds like it is great for her. They went on a horseback riding camping trip last weekend. She told me all about it, and enjoyed it immensely. She wanted a horse with either white, brown, or black on it. Can you imagine, she got one?! What did she leave out? I guess she didn't want a gray horse. So cute.
Riley also has a new puppy named Atticus. He's named after Atticus Finch in "To Kill a Mockingbird." He is now about 5 or 6 months old. They have housebroken him and taught him to sit, laydown, and are now working on stay. He is learning, from a neighbor dog, how to play catch. The neighbor dog, Katie, plays fetch for as long as Riley is willing to throw the ball. Water activities are real big in Texas since it gets so hot. They are trying to teach the puppy to enjoy the water, but having no luck so far. We will catch on, though. When I was married to Riley's dad (Luke) we lived in Texas and had 3 dogs. Two Rottweiler muts and a tiny greyhound type mut. We loved them so. Used to take them to Canyon Lake and throw the ball into the water. Buford,our alpha dog, would play at this for over an hour. I can't wait until Neal and I can get a new dog. It will have to be 20 pounds or less, though. We both prefer large dogs, but will have to make due. Neal wants a Weimeraner, but that is our of the question. They are too large for our apartment complex. I forgot to mention, Riley's puppy is a Rottweiler.
Riley won student of the week last week! She seems to really like her new school. She told me that the academics there are harder than her old school in Illinois. But she has fit right in and is keeping her grades up nicely. All As and Bs. She got to go up in front of the whole school and accept her certificate for student of the week. She was so proud, and I'm proud of her.
Despite all my resentment against Luke for the way he restricts my contact with Riley, I must admit that so far she is turning out to be a good, smart, kind girl. She is very strong willed with him. She won't mind him. But Neal and I have a better parenting style than Luke, so she minds us well. She tries to debate everything when we first see her, but I simply tell her "That's not negotiable." It doesnt' take long before she is minding us again.
I haven't seen Riley since May 23rd and it is tearing me up. I am praying hard that this trip to TN will work out - I'm praying for 2 weeks. The challenge will be how to keep Luke and Neal separate. Neal hates Luke for all the pain Luke has caused me since he absconded to Texas with Riley in the end of May. Luke is a fear based child, and I am so tired of his meddling in my relationship with Riley. Neal wants to beat snot out of Luke, and I wish we could both have 5 minutes alone with him. But, I refuse to go to jail or let Neal go to jail over Luke. And he is such a pussy that he would call the police and blubber to them, rather than taking his hits like a man. The amount of restraint I have shown during this surprises even me. I have wanted to go to Texas and steal Riley. After all, I do have a court order from Illinois granting me sole custody. But I have to think about Riley. Unfortunately, she adores her father and would resent us so much if we take her from him. As I write this, the temptation to go to Texas and get her is strong. Sometimes, I have to breathe and pray that God's will be done. It is hard, but I will persevere. Maybe someday Riley will see what a control freak and manipulator her father is and maybe then she will want to come live with us.
Neal and I made it through the last mania with some difficulties, but it is over now. I was manic for 3 1/2 weeks - twice as long as usual. He continues to be a saint in the way he deals with my mood swings. I praise God for sending me a husband who does not try to fix me, but rather loves me through the good and the bad. I want to nominate Neal for CNN's Hero of the Year! ;-)
Well, it's only 5:30 and I'm tired of typing. Please let me know how things are going with you. Love, Julia
Comments
I'm pondering whether I should start working. I know that it won't last because the depressions still hit me so hard. I have, however, found an employer that I would have no qualms about leaving in the lurch.
The job is selling air purification systems. The company used to be called Electrolux and sold vacuum cleaners door to door in the old days. They have now migrated to selling air purification systems. The products are awesome, but terribly overpriced. This is because the sales rep gets one sixth of the price as a commission, then the store gets a cut of the profits, and the factory gets a share too. I don't know if there is a better unit on the market. They claim there is not. Even so, I'm not sure I can stomach selling people things that are so expensive.
The company has changed their name from Electrolux to Aerus, in order to reflect the fact that they now specialize in air purification systems. I have researched other units, and they are a little less expensive. However, with other units you have to replace the filter and UV light every six months - which costs about $230 plus tax (with the other brands of purifiers.) The Aerus unit only requires replacement of these things once per year.
I'm still not decided one way or another. Neal said he would do the hard part for me - which is where you have to set up appointments to show the products. Since we have no friends or famiy here in Maine, he will have to go door to door. I thank the Lord that Neal has no fear of rejection, like I do.
Money is good, though. They sell a whole house unit for $1800, and my commission would be $300. There is a one room unit w/ aromatherapy for $600, and I think my commission would be $100. When you finish the 90 day training period, then they guarantee you $600 per week salary. They seem to like helping people make money and improve their health conditions like asthma and allergies. However, they are bullshitters about some things, so I resent their "pie in the sky" presentation to new recruits. They weren't even going to tell us what the units cost - they were going to leave that little snippet out until I asked the question.
Please tell me, my dear friends, what do you think?? You all know that Neal and I sold all our furniture before we came to Maine. We also gave away everything that wouldn't fit in the car and 5 large boxes that we sent to ourselves. My computer got crushed. It killed us financially to have to replace my computer when Neal's not working and we're living on $1040.00 per month. Thank the Lord for public housing! Our rent is only $302.00 per month.
I am grateful for the wisdom of my friends here on DS. Please help me make this important decision.
Comments
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That is a tough call, and ultimately you are the one who h as to make it. I think the guaranteed income sounds pretty good and am surprised at how much they are willing to guarantee. I could never do sales like that, though. My daughter does phone sales and she is very good at it, but I just couldn't do it. Have you ever done anything like it before? Do they pay you during the 90 day trial at all? Is there a required number of sales you must make while on probation in order to qualify for the position at the end of the training period? Jobs are so scarce that it is hard to turn one down, but if it doesn't suit you, you could be setting yourself up for big disappointment.
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Thanks W of the V. This is a great help. I will ponder on what you said and get back to this journal entry and tell you all what I decide.
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The income sounds like something you need and the fact that you go into depressions would make this an easy job for you to walk away from, but I don't think you should go for it on the account that you sound very resentful towards the company and you sound as though you have mixed emotions about the whole thing. As my parents said, if it doesn't feel right don't do it. If however you decide that you can't find another job that you like and would be able to walk away from in the event of a depression and you would like to work for these companies then take it. But as it stands it doesn't sound like your heart is in it.
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Well, I made the decision not to take this job. I had the intention to do it, but kept putting it off. That tells me that you both were right, my heart wasn't in it.
I have an interview tomorrow for a temporary job filling internet orders of Christmas ornaments made here in Maine. They are so cute. The job, if I get it, only lasts until Dec 19th. This is perfect for me because we are hoping to meet Riley and her father in Tennessee for her Christmas break. The timing of this job couldn't be better.
It pays 12-13 dollars per hour. I have to give one third to the housing authority, but will use the rest for our trip to TN and to pay back my aunt $400 and my ex mother in law $57. Depending how much I make. My aunt says that I don't have to pay her back. But if I don't pay her back then I can't borrow from her in the future. I'll pay her back.
With the budget we're living on, we need a line of credit in case the car breaks down. It is a good car, but it is a 1995 Subaru. We call her Suzy Subaru ;-)
We miss our high, comfy queen size bed. We were just given a double by one of our neighbors. Our neighbors are soooo sweet. We all look out for one another. I was invited to church by Linda, my next door neighbor. I loved it, and am returning with her this week. After, we are going to a food pantry that just opened for the winter. They give you an $80 voucher to be spent at a local grocery store. You can by anything but alcohol or cigs. Even pet products!
I want to surprise Neal with a dog for Christmas. The difficulties are that he has his heart set on a Wiemariener, and we have a 20 pound limit in our apt complex. Also, we will have to pay $330 as a pet deposit. I'll see what I can do. Definitely will get a dog over 2 years old. They are usually already partially trained by the previous owner and easier to train then puppies. Hate the accidents on the carpet!
Love you so, Julia
I want to surprise Neal with a dog for Christmas. The difficulties are that he has his heart set on a Wiemariener, and we have a 20 pound limit in our apt complex. Also, we will have to pay $330 as a pet deposit. I'll see what I can do. Definitely will get a dog over 2 years old. They are usually already partially trained by the previous owner and easier to train then puppies. Hate the accidents on the carpet!
Love you so, Julia
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Honey be careful about getting a dog. They make magnificent companions but can be expensive to feed and care for. We have a huge tick population here in the northeast so dogs need to be on tick and flea meds until the ground freezes. They also need to be on heartworm meds year round. Vets are EXPENSIVE! My dog had oozing hotspots and my cat had a big hole next to his anus. Well $300.00 later they were on their way back to good health and the vet I use is one of the more reasonably priced vets. Oh yeah, the cat had infected anal glands and needed to go back to be rechecked, that was another $35.00. The dog has food allergies which caused the hotspots so now I cook for him...chicken and brown rice...I kid you not! Lavish lots of love on your hubby and maybe knit him a nice warm scarf for Christmas. Hold off on the dog until you are both a bit more settled financially. I say this with love my friend, nothing hurts worse than having to give up a much beloved pet because it's just too expensive to keep it.
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This has nothing to do with your journal but I'm having a hard time quitting smoking too!
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Dear Lanky,
That's a great point to consider. Along the same lines, Neal said he's not ready for a pet. His cat ran off when we arrived in Maine and were camping. We both are mortified that we didn't keep a closer eye on him. He escaped from the tent when Neal unzipped it from the outside. He couldn't catch him.
We were both surprised he ran orff in such an unfamiliar environment.
Just goes to show that we're not ready to be responsible pet owners.
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Sorry to hear about your 3 1/2 month depression. Glad to see your happy face!
Winslet