Wow, that was helpful, I'm not married, but I'm going to hear it again and take notes on what you think the step should be taken to build trust and move forward. I think that is valuable in any relationship.
Thank you for your input. We actually sat down the other day and he told me about all the whens and wheres. That was the big part for me. I needed him to come clean with that info and to know that he had enough respect for me to be honest and stop the lies. Even if the truth hurt, and with the exception of the first time they had sex, I suspected it all, it’s much better than the lies and deceit. There have been new questions come up and I have been trying to pick a time for those talks. We both agree that it cannot be a constant interrogation.
Unfortunately, that is not always easy. At this time is seems, any question, even unrelated to the affair, if answered truthfully is somehow connected to the affair. An example: there is a possible job opportunity for me and he wanted to know if I was interested and would consider it (I have a full-time job that I enjoy now). I answered that until I was sure where we were going in our marriage, I did not want any other upheaval in my life. He took that as throwing the affair back at him but I see it as being an honest answer to his question. We need to work on our communication and getting the other to understand our point which is not necessarily the way it is initially taken. We will keep working on our relationship and marriage. We have a long way to go but I think that if it’s what we really want, we will make it.
Thankfully this topic does not apply to me but I will say that your information and advice seems very practical. I look forward to your video journals and actually get excite when I see a new one lol. It seems to me that you could own your own t.v. show or radio how with how smooth you are 8) lol. As always I hope you continue to find the time and energy to reach out to people on here. Take care.
Wow, that was helpful, I'm not married, but I'm going to hear it again and take notes on what you think the step should be taken to build trust and move forward. I think that is valuable in any relationship.
capricorn7
Thank you for your input. We actually sat down the other day and he told me about all the whens and wheres. That was the big part for me. I needed him to come clean with that info and to know that he had enough respect for me to be honest and stop the lies. Even if the truth hurt, and with the exception of the first time they had sex, I suspected it all, it’s much better than the lies and deceit. There have been new questions come up and I have been trying to pick a time for those talks. We both agree that it cannot be a constant interrogation.
Unfortunately, that is not always easy. At this time is seems, any question, even unrelated to the affair, if answered truthfully is somehow connected to the affair. An example: there is a possible job opportunity for me and he wanted to know if I was interested and would consider it (I have a full-time job that I enjoy now). I answered that until I was sure where we were going in our marriage, I did not want any other upheaval in my life. He took that as throwing the affair back at him but I see it as being an honest answer to his question. We need to work on our communication and getting the other to understand our point which is not necessarily the way it is initially taken. We will keep working on our relationship and marriage. We have a long way to go but I think that if it’s what we really want, we will make it.
ETinNY
Thankfully this topic does not apply to me but I will say that your information and advice seems very practical. I look forward to your video journals and actually get excite when I see a new one lol. It seems to me that you could own your own t.v. show or radio how with how smooth you are 8) lol. As always I hope you continue to find the time and energy to reach out to people on here. Take care.
Need2bstronger
Thankfully this doesn't apply to me either... but I'm sure that other members will find this very helpful! Great video journal.... you're a natural!
HelloChrissy
wooooo wooo woo you said "He" in your topic, why is it always the man?
darkhour000