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hlks 
7:50pm Sunday
Hubby's been spazing out three out of four days now. I've started making the days he's like this on my calendar because he thinks most of the time he's fine. Today's incident was spaked by me asking him why he was in a bad mood today. He started getting mad, said he wasn't. (I had asked him because he was stomping around, slamming doors- or at least closing them unecessarily hard)Then he yelled at our two year old and I told him he needed to stop. He got angry and started blaming it on me. Saying he HAS to over react and get pissed if our son does something (he was biting a pack of stickers.. *eye roll* ) and that I was punishing him for caring. I didn't argue with him because that would only make things worse. It would make him madder, more irrational and he would start screaming and slamming things in front of our son. I've told him over and over not to fight in front of him, but he says I use that as an excuse, a shield, so that I don't have to talk to him. Honestly, when he's irrational I really dont' want to talk to him anyway because nothing gets through to him. BUT, regardless or whether I actually wanted to talk to him or not, it's still not right to fight in front of your kids. Everyone knows it's damaging to them. Every psychologist in the world will tell you not to do it. Fighting in front of children is a form of abuse because it hurts them, sometimes pretty badly depending on severity. Anyway, he's completely irrational today and it's a walk-on-eggshells kind of day. Anything or everything I say or do could be cause for a fight, could be justification for abuse.
Of course, I'm out of bipolar medication too. I told him a few days ago I really needed his help. I really needed him to try being nice to me. He said he could. But he can't. The day before yesterday he yelled at me saying "you think I can just be nice? Just like that?" Hum. Guess not then.
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Stop cutting for 3 months
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When my husband gets in one of his "moods" I usually avoid any & all conversations, as they all lead down the same path. It seems like they WANT to pick a fight so they can blame somebody else for their crappy mood. We never have had a lot of money, so I usually plunked the little one in the stroller and went for a walk. I would get him ready & say... "hey I'm going for a walk, wanna go???" to which I usually got a grunt or a "Nah". Then I had "permission" to avoid him. He never has gone on a walk with me...lol, even after all these years. Now that the kids are older, I don't have them around and can yell back...LOL. Hang in there, and write to me if you need to have someone to talk to.
cassidy
I wish something like that worked with my hubby. I can't avoid him at all. If I went on a walk he would certainly go with me. When he's in a bad mood he either sits in his office (then I DO get to avoid him, but also have no help) or he follows me around waiting for something to yell at me for.
Arg, I was going to say I know he'll get better when money isn't so bad, but then I realized that's a complete lie. He may get a little better.. meaning he might not be in a terrible mood almost every day, but he'll still get like this often.. once a week maybe. That doesn't sound like much comparatively, but I think it was revpatty who said that abuse even once a month, isn't okay. Of course, I know hubby's response to that:
"but i don't do it as often! You don't even see that I'm getting better!" Like somehow that makes the times he does do it not matter since it's not as much as before.
big thing is that once we have more money again he can go back to the therapist.. and so can i.
hlks
I thought this website may help you...
http://www.youarenotcrazy.com/
Especially the part on "real change"
There is also a quiz section where she recorded conversations with her abuser and you try to spot the abuse in the conversations.
If you really and truly feel your husband is abusive to you then I hope you have the strength to get away from that environment.
ouroboros
ouroboros, i've been to that site and yes, it was helpful. My husband recognizes that he's abusive and wants to change.He's seeing a therapist (although not right this moment because we can't afford it) and we're going to go to marriage counseling.
hlks
Thank You, ouroboros, for that weblink!
ohmygod...I have been telling DH (DamnHusband) for Years that he is 'gaslighting' me, as in the old movie where Angela Lansbury as the maid, along with the husband, try to make the wife think she's going crazy by twisting things that were said, etc.
it's only been recently that i've Truly admitted to Myself that i'm being abused, and He is absolutely Furious, telling me that most men 'would've been so out of here so long ago,' and 'you wanna see Abuse? I'll Show you abuse!'
Thanks to the rest of you, as well. i feel as though i've come home.
amaranthe