Journal Entry for June 9, 2008
June 9, 2008 4:00am
I know I'm not on this site much, but it's a bit hard for me as the one person I mainly talked to on here committed suicide a few months …
Progress
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YSMorid
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About Me
YSMorid
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About Me
I am a multi-faceted person with a lot to offer and more to confuse. I adore movies, and usually have one playing in the background. I love dancing to music and listening to new genres and artists out there. I'm a bit of an adrenaline junkie who is into extreme sports; I've gone skydiving and plan on going white water rafting, mountain climbing and skydiving yet again in these next coming months. I do a lot of self-reflecting and try to improve and strive for better as often as I can, but have learned to appreciate all I've accomplished and all that I have in my life. I will always be there for my friends, whether it's to crack a joke for their entertainment or be the shoulder they cry on. There is a lot to me, and even though I hide it most of the time, given enough time I will open up and be someone grand to be around.
I am a multi-faceted person with a lot to offer and more to confuse. I adore movies, and usually have one playing in the background. I love dancing to music and listening to new genres and artists out there. I'm a bit of an adrenaline junkie who is into extreme sports; I've gone skydiving and plan on going white water rafting, mountain climbing and skydiving yet again in these next coming months. I do a lot of self-reflecting and try to improve and strive for better as often as I can, but have learned
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Interests
Music, movies, dancing, writing, hiking.
Music, movies, dancing, writing, hiking.
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Help! Fighting Traffic Ticket
June 2, 2008 11:46am
Yes, I am still trying to fight this ticket, and since my deadline is dangerously close I need to decide whether to ask for a "Trial by …
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Journal Entry for April 8, 2008
April 8, 2008 2:12am
I think this medication is really fucking with me. Saturday night I had such a bad anxiety attack it felt like my body was on fire, I had a …
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Journal Entry for March 13, 2008
March 13, 2008 8:52pm
Where have all my friends gone? I had a nice group of wonderful people on this site, and it seems everyone's either stopped checking this …
This entry is private
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Hugbook
Flower
Just passing, I thought I would say hello. Tom XXX
Celebration
I'm doing well. Pot is funny, it either gets you zoned in or spaced out. It was my birthday this past weekend. It was kind of hectic and I cried. You would cry too if it happened to you. I didn't actually cry, I just wanted to quote a song because I'm unoriginal.
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Rainbow
Hopefully you find a pot of gold. Or just gold. Or just pot? I should have sent the clover if you're looking for pot.
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Celebration
Hey, thanks for the message. I'm not on here as much, busy with life and all that comes with it. I'm sure you know what I mean. Anyway, doing anything for Halloween?
Prayer
well i just wanted to say hi and to invite you to my support group.It is not there for hook ups or to find a quick lay.It is there for support for others to go to when they are in need of support or just needs a confidence builder.I want to create a hot line for people to call up for any reason that suits what ever is wrong at that time.I am a writer of poetry.I have been a writer for 15 years and love it.It is were my heart is also with my girlfriend that i love dearly.I hope to see you on my support group that i started.take care
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Bipolar Disorder
I've been told by 2 doctors and 1 therapist that I may be bipolar, but definately have a chemical imbalance. In 2 weeks, I am going to a psychiatrist for evaluation and ongoing therapy to find out if I am bipolar, or just clinically depressed. Either way, I'm taking steps to find out and fix my problem long term. No more back and forth for me.
Close Insomnia
I've suffered insomnia my whole life. No matter how tired I am, I have trouble falling asleep. Either I will sleep deeply for a few hours then be wide awake and not be able to get back to sleep, or I wake up frequently throughout the night, getting very little sleep.
Treatments
- Ambien Not Working
- I took this for a short stint when I was 16, and it made me hallucinate and dangerously harm myself. This drug is the reason I've been against medication for so many years.
- Ativan Not Working
- After I stopped Ambien, my doctor prescribed me Ativan instead, but all it did was make my insomnia worse and drain me of all energy throughout the day.
- Music Somewhat Helpful
- I can't fall asleep without music playing in the background; however, it doesn't keep me asleep all night.
- Reading Not Working
- I get too involved in my books and end up staying awake longer, no matter how tired I may feel
Open Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionSince childhood I've been depressed, always feeling unloved and alone. I was diagnosed at 16 as being clinically depressed and put on medications, but they didn't work. As I get older, it gets worse. As of now, it's starting to become crippling, affecting my work and relationships with those once close to me.
Treatments
- Celexa Not Working
- If I ever missed a day, I'd become so severely depressed the smallest thing would make me have a nervous breakdown. Physical side effects included my eyes shooting out of focus, weak spells, lack of energy, shakiness and nervous tension in my stomach.
- Positive Thinking Working / Worked
- When I get in deep slumps (which is often) I try to focus on all my accomplishments and the good things in my life, and make plans for improvement instead of dwelling on the negative. It was incredibly hard at first, but I'm finding it easier daily to think more positively, though I still dwell far too much.
- Prozac Not Working
- I took this for almost a year and it has no effect on me whatsoever. My mood didn't improve nor deteriorate, and when I stopped taking it nothing happened either. It might as well been a daily vitamin for all the effect it had on me.
- Psychotherapy Too Soon to Tell
- I began seeing a therapist and felt better (but then again I have ups and downs), and soon as I felt better, I shut her out and stopped seeing her. I do have an appointment to see a psychiatrist/therapist in 2 weeks, however; this time I plan to see as many therapists as it takes until I find one I'm comfortable with and I feel is helping me make progress
- Writing Working / Worked
- Writing always helps me. I write daily, whether it's cryptic and vague or bleeding my heart out. What helped when I was a teenager was poetry mainly, as well as short stories. Now, it's more journaling and short stories.
