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hermiane 
Yesterday I went to walk on the beach. It has been a really long time since I did that and I live right across the beach. My baby gave me the most beautiful sunset with the most prettiest colors in the sky. I know he was telling me how beautiful it is in heaven where he now lives. He has been giving me rainbows, butterflies, sunsets and full starry nights and although I should be saying thank you I find myself wishing I could trade them all if I could only have my baby back. Right before he left earth we had a rally big storm but it was the best time of our lives because he got to be home with us ( He came home from Oahu where he was recieving his treatments). No T.V. just some music from the radio. We made a fire and everyone gather on our front porch to hang out and enjoy eachothers company. Even the neighbors came over. It was the BEST! Today I let some of Lanakila's friends from my childcare watch a video of him. It was my first time to see it too. It was so hard to see him so healthy and happy in the days before he left us. How did this happen? God please, please help me! Where is there any justice and joy in this?
