hermiane's Journal

 Well it's been awhile since I've written here.  Time sure has been going by fast yet I feel like I'm at a stand still in my life. I just can't get pass the big pain in my heart. Support groups, candle light vigils, volunteering at local charity events in his honor are all great band-aids but none of them take away my pain when I'm alone missing him.  I still am strong in my faith and know one day I will recieve the answer to why he left me but right now I really wish God would just give me some peace. I wake in the middle of night from hearing myself crying in grief.  My husband wish I would go and talk to a professional counselor. I don't want to waste the money. I miss him so much. I don't think I'll ever get over this pain. I don't even know how I make it through each day yet I know everyday that goes by is a sad day. I appreciate all those days before he left me now because they were so many happy times. If I could only turn back the time. Those good memories are all I have now. I wish I could be the old happy, positive person I use to be and not the big, sobbing crying baby that I am now. God I pray and beg of you to please grant me serenity and peace.