Join Now
calyn1 
7:11am Tuesday
Don't know why exactly i wrote this, but it seems interesting i guess (though sad and morbid too, be warned):
The world seems strange,
Almost paper thin.
Nothing seems real,
Everything seems transparent and fake.
It's like a bitter taste in my mouth.
My heart can't quite connect.
I've held sadness before,
But somehow, some way,
This feels different.
I can't quite name it though.
Lonliness, Emptiness, Sheer Boredom?
I don't know.
There is no true joy,
Only determination and cold, hard discipline.
All the rules, all the lies, all the hiding.
I'm trying to hide the past.
But this time i not only fool them,
Oh no,
Now the only way to make it work is to fool myself too.
I've never felt so hollow.
It's like a decaying, molding, growing hole in my chest.
It burns and freezes,
Though the pain doesn't quite break through.
And this playground is what I want.
I want the dreamworld--not too real.
I want nothing to matter.
I want nothing to worry over.
I want nothing to hurt,
And nothing to fear.
But if I eliminate one, the other has to go.
With these silly games I play,
The bad slips away.
But the good decinegrates with it.
Without one there is not the other.
So, likewise, if one dissappears, the other must too.
Till there is nothing left.
Nothing to hold, and nothing to lose.
A world where nothing matters.
Kill.
Kill it.
Let it die.
Please let it end.
Comments
Very creative poetry...sad but creative. I think you are doing well on your weight. Remember, your weight is important, but taking joy in life is much more important, don't you think.
You are right, without the good, there would be no bad, so it is a balancing act. A lot of it has to do with your attitude, my friend, and it begins with taking small steps to change the way you think. There is magic in the world. You just have to find it or create it. Look at Walt Disney. He thought it all up and made it come to pass.
The perfect world that you describe is heaven, my dear. We all come from there and subconsciously, we all miss it and want to go back, because there is no negativity there and it IS home . That's why we don't feel at home here because this world is not our true home, but it is up to us to create a good life here until we are able to go home. It all begins with your thoughts.
If you want to experience joy and contentment, begin with your thoughts. If you think only misery, that's what your life will become. Reach out to the sunshine, not the darkness...
You are my friend and I know you can do this...
Love, Ms. Judy
tipperspal
sad, and lovely to the heart.............god understands...........hang in there...love ya...hxhx
danroy
Hi Calyn, how I feel for you. Your poetry is beautiful and I think that I can truly connect with your feelings. When I was a teenager and and in my twenties, life felt so like you describe it. And it wasn't just a sensation, it was all there, in its most cruel and agonizing reality, day after day. For my friends at the time it was the same. Things changed though, for me and for everyone else of my age. Yes there are new difficulties and unexpected challenges, but because of our earlier experience with life, now we are more equipped, stronger and readier to fight. Life is also very sweet; not long ago I precipitated into emotional abyss, where everything was dark, damp and empty, but I crawled out again, I fought back and here I am, older, stronger and definatly wiser.
I think that you are talented, keep on writing, just about anything you wish, your words make a mark. E.
Enterpryse