ChristinaCat85's Journal

it feels like i'm falling apart

tears threatening to spill from bright green eyes

today is a day of mourning

today is a day i despise

could i please have dreamless sleep?

could i please have more sanity?

too many things going on at once

too many feelings running through my veins

i'd rather stay in bed all day

i'd rather just be alone

instead, i'm making myself presentable and forcing a smile.

i can hear the glass breaking..

i can see it coming towards my eyes..

i can feel the endless flipping...

i can hear my own hopeless cries..

i can feel the feeling of 'this is it, i'm going to die'...

then the feeling of somehow keeping my life..

i can feel the broken bones..

i can see all of the blood..

i can remember the fear of the unknown..

the pain no one could fix..

the horrified looks on peoples faces when they saw me...

the dirt caked onto my contact lenses..

the fear in my mother's voice..

i can remember fighting to recover..

i can remember feeling so lost..

i can remember being completely terrified..

i remember ending up alone...

today this all hits me with a force i just cannot explain...

im making a wish to be able to stay in this bed all day