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rllong 
12:44am, August 20, 2009
Well, I have been sperated from my husband six weeks now and I still love my apartment & being back in the city. I am on better terms with HIM. What do I call HIM? I haven't filed for divorce yet b/c we have to finish up our bankrupcy which could take 4 months! But he is paying me the first child support I've seen tommarrow.
My worries are my kids. My daughter just turned 15 and she has been moody & iritable this week probably b/c she is not getting to talk to her sister in law who she adores. And who I know think is a total bitch. That's another story. So, I'm keeping a close eye on her.
Oldest son, his wife I really loved but since they have been seperated, I have seen a very ugly side of her. I always knew it was there, but she made sure I didn't see it. She won't let him see the kids & its making him crazy. He is a good father and the kids need him & he needs the kids. He has lost 20 pounds since all this started & his marriage fell apart. Now, he is trying to get the money together to file for divorce, so he can get orders in place to see his boys. They are 4 & 1.
The middle son, he has been in OKla. the past 5 days vacationing with his girlfriend & her dad. I've talked to him once & sounded like they were having fun. He has FINALLY come to my apartment, twice now! So, I hope him & I have turned the corner. He hasn't been getting any work, he works contract in the oilfield. I am really concerned what he is going to do when his dad moves out of the house in August. All three of the men are living there together.
I got a text from HIM today saying he loves me & wants me back. I texted him back saying I just hope we can end up friends when this is over. I really need to watch the situation though b/c we talked more this week on friendlier terms & I don't want him to get the wrong idea. I am not going back to a man who abused me and since we've been separated I found out also cheated. I think I am healing & finding some peace. My anger @ him has lessened. I just need to be careful & not let my guard down. I worked too hard to get out of that situation to get drug back into it. Seriously, it took me 2 years to leave. Thats crazy, huh?
Enough for today. Please pray for my family. There is a lot of turmoil right now and I am trying to set a good example for them and be there for them.
Comments
I have been thru divorce and it not easy and takes time. I know my former wife and I went back and forth several times before finally call it quits. It just seems something most couples go thru, there is no right or wrong way to go thru this period of a persons life. A day at a time and a lot of just working on yourself on getting on your own and just getting stronger as time goes by. There is no easy way. It does not do any good to beat up on your self or on him, what has happened yesterday is done and over with and if you can forgive him like you say you have do not worry about him and what he has or needs to deal with. So many times it seems, we want the other person to fix themselves and do or say the right things but we have no control over the other person at all. The less contact you have with him, if you are serious about the divorce, the better. It is hard to just walk away with out any contact but I found out that it worked for me once I could stand on my own two feet and not have to talk to my former wife for anything because I would always get sucked back in and off we would go again, round and round until I finally said NO MORE I am done and did what I had to do to go on with my life with out her being any part of it at all. It took a long time but after I got thru the process I was stronger and fine. Just try to take it a day at a time and do what you can and it will get better and it just takes a lot of time. God Bless Phil & Flops
phullphilled
Everything you say is so true! I am sucked back in and I am not even sure how it happened. We are starting counsling next week, so we will see. He moved about a mile away from me which hasn't been bad so far. He doesn't pop over without calling. We are just spending time together and talking about where we habe been and what would have to change to put our marriage back on track. And we are going to church together.
My sons lives are still full of turmoil. I am trying really hard to let go & let God. My husband keeps telling me they are grown men & they will be ok. They are 25 and almost 21.
I still like being on my own and the peace it is giving me. I need this time to think and make decisions. So does my husband so we aren't rushing into living together . He is better since he went on antidepressants!!!
I still really like b
rllong
I'm glad to hear that you feel better about the situation. I'm not a prayer but I will keep you and your family in my thoughts. I hope you can keep your distance from your soon-to-be ex and stay on your new path! Congratulations!
laurenanne6