Alphonsus's Journal

Through various experiments over the holiday weekend, the exact nature of which I shan't go in to detail about, I have discovered that I seem to be completely immune to the effects of the cannabis plant, particularly in it's smoked and inhaled form.

I made a considerable effort to feel these effects, and those around me had no difficulty in concluding that the leaves of the plant in question were of exceptional quality.  Nonetheless, I felt absolutely and completely nothing.

As I considered this a fact that may say something interesting about my brain chemistry, I confided these results to my pdoc today.  She, too, was rather surprised, and didn't initially have any explanation.  She speculated, however, that, given my described state of perpetual numbness and apathy, perhaps the plant in question added nothing in particular to my normal state.

I expanded on her theory, and concluded that my basic brain chemistry is such that I am experiences a cannabis "high" at all times, and I was, essentially, born this way.  This is further supported by my bizarre "creativity," my amazing sense of mellowness under the most extreme duress, experience absolutely no pain from glaucoma (of course, I don't have glaucoma, but the statement still stands true), and I have a constant proclivity toward potato chips and Doritos.

I am thus naturally in a state that drug addicts pay lots of good money for.  I must admit, however, that I honestly do not find this state to be all that special.  Why would anyone voluntarily WISH this kind of brain fog upon themselves?  I suppose there could be a certain novelty to it if one isn't used to it, but seriously guys, it ain't all that it's cracked up to be.

I think that it safely goes without saying that I will never experiment in such a way again.  It is a complete and total waste of money for me.

My pdoc suggested I write up my experience for the Journal for Medicinal Marijuana.  This might be an interesting experience, and perhaps I can find someone to pay me money to be a test subject.  I will have to think about it.

Love,

Alphonsus