Journal

I have not forgotton any of you. We finnally got to our house in Florida Feb 15th2009. I love this house and have so many ideas. I really do not want to go back to Connecticut.  I just wanted you all to know, I think of you often but I am real tired at night so I really do not go on-line. I am bad............    Just know you are all in my heart and you all have helped me in your own special way. That I am great full. Well, mom's PT is here so I need to go. Take care all of you.

P.S I did loose 2 pants size and I really can get into the next size which will be 12. That much of my life has changed. I still need to loose 40 pounds to get to  150. I am not bashfull about my weight as you can tell. But for 5'7" ( i think i am still that tall ) 150 is a healthy weight. Be happy all.........

Hi All,

 I am going through a tough time again.  For a while I was doing great. This week I am bombing out.  I have no idea what to write....LOL.......

  I do know I am very fusterated. By now you all know me. How I tell the people in my house how I feel. They either laugh or start an argument with me.  My husband gets nasty because I do not get up until 8-8:30am. I also do not go to bed until midnight. I can not help it if he wakes up at 5am because he goes to bed at 7:30pm. It also takes me about 3 hours to fuction. Remember I am also disable with to many medical problems to list. My husband has gone to the doctors and they show him my films and where the problems are . My husband is not allowed to go to one of my doctors because he is embrassing and also makes everybody uncomfortable. From the receptionist office to the nurses and my 2 doctors. They ask me not to bring him. He also raises my blood pressure. They check my blood pressure 3 times with him there and it keeps going up. Pretty sad uh? He doesn't know the difference between prescriptions and vitaims. They have explain what each medicine is for and asked him point blank what they would like to take away. He can not answer them. So, now I have to find a different way to get there. Now remember, all my friends work until 5 -6 pm. They also have children and  a husband that they have to take care of. Pick the kids up, make dinner, etc... Now I do not know what to do. My doctor's office is 25 minutes away. I always get 2 shots into my neck or into my lower back. I am so sore when they are done that I really have a hard time walking out, never mind driving. See my problem. So, I told him he can not come in. The hard part is I am usually in there for 2 hours. I start with the nurses and then my doctor comes in and talks to me about things. Then those nasty shots. I have never had such pain when she does those needles. One time she had me on the table checking my FMS and when I went to get down, I could move. I couldn't catch my  breath. We do not know what happen and I tried to tell them that was normal becasue I ws trying not to take my pain meds for a few days. They told not to stop them at all. I need them.

 Ok my other problem is : I am trying to pack up my things for my new home in Florida. It is very  hard. I take care of my mom which I do not like to walk away from her to do some thing, Its ok for 15 minutes at a time but it is hard. I also have to do some serious paperwork, clean the house, make supper and clean up. It is very hard because my mom likes to sit in the kitchen

and watch TV. She likes me to sit with her all mornig until her nap time. Nap time is between 1 - 2pm. Then I go to my room for about 20 minutes to rest my back and then start everything. Nobody in my house know how to do anything or they refuse. Sad uh?  Everything is up to me. With me trying to pack , figure out what I am moving to Florida to leave, pack for mom and figure out what she is going to need is very stressful. I just told them I am not going and my husband and son can go without me. They got very bitchy about it. They think I can not handle taking care of my mom by my self. I have help 5 days a week and found another person who will help me to out her to bed with me. I really believe they are afraid that I can do it without them. Their ego is in the way. Everything is common sense. Now remember, I am home alone with out them because they work. So when she has to go to the bathroom #2, I have to do it by myself becasue they are at work.  There is a secret that they don't know about , how I can do it with out them. I have also have put her to bed by myself before...

 I guess I did have something to write about after all........ LOL 

 Thanks all for listening. Love and Hug all to you.