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cjs702006 
4:28pm, July 9, 2009
12/10/2007 - 01/08/2008
I knew that I was pregnant even before I took the home tests. Shock gave way to excitement; "Could I REALLY be pregnant again after so long?" I scheduled an appointment at my doctors office to confirm the news and was told that there was no doubt......I WAS pregnant!
How short lived my excitement would be,I had no idea.........
The next day, I was feeling a bit "off"....cramping and slightly bleeding. After telling my husband, I went to the ER to make sure things were ok and to show myself that everything was going to be fine. After blood tests, physical exams and an ultra sound, the doctor told me I was possibly losing the baby...he HAD to be wrong! I just found out I was expecting! "Go to your family doctor in a few days to make sure" and that was that, I was on my way home.
A few days later, I did go to my doctor. He confirmed what the other doctor had told me, "this is basicaly an "innevital abortion". We would suspend my employment as a waitress until further notice, limit my activities and continue to monitor the baby's progress if any. This went on for a few weeks....still cramping and bleeding off and on, but follwing my orders to rest and take it easy. It wasn't that tough, all I wanted to do anyways is sleep.....I had no energy.
Monday; January 8th, 2008, I took a turn for the worse. The cramping was getting terible, I was feeling nausious and just unbearable. I took myself to the ER again, knowing in my heart that something was very wrong, but could be fixed. "Hospital admittance and total bedrest would be what they will tell me", I thought, but again, I would be wrong. Tests again were run; testing for HCG hormone in my blood, internal exams, ultra sounds.....the whole thing, but nothing was giving me the answers I wanted. After an hour, the ER doctor came to my room and closed the door and my world shook......"You are having a miscarriage, there is no fetal heartbeat",is all I remember and my heart shattered!
Another internal exam was done to confirm their news and a D & C was scheduled to be done right away. I would be put to sleep and would wake up with everything gone......they wre going to take my baby from the supposed safe home it just had antered into! Eleven weeks of new life was no longer and I will never be the same.
