ladysings's Journal

So I'm ungrateful. I'm ungrateful! Boy my brother knows how to push my buttons. He resents that he has to live with me. Trust I resent it too! He has bipolar schizophrenia and can't live alone.  He lies to me all the time. I try so much to make sure he takes his meds, goes to his job to make sure he doesn't work overtime and keep his job.  He allows his wife and girlfriend to take every dime from him. I say something and I'm medling. I try to counsel him on his diet habits due to the fact he has diabetes and high blood pressure. I try to get him to come to the gym with me.  I nag him. I have to take crap from his therapist and pychiatrist because he lies to them and me. Yes I'm rambling because I need to blow off some steam. He was off for two weeks. Normally I take a break at this time because my mom and step dad are here but I don't have a dime to go anywhere. I can't do this anymore. I prayed and ask God do I see any fruit here!, I don't. Yes thank you Lord that since I did move back home.  My mom said she couldn't take care of him anymore. She wanted to enjoy her retirement with pops. They have a couple of acres in the Bahamas. They have been traveling and staying there a lot more since I moved back home in 2006. I also take care of the two houses here like a super when they are away for months at a time. When the tenants have a complaint or need something fixed all he(my brother) does is give them my phone number. I shovel snow, rake leaves, recycle and do the garbage. I cook and clean for him. The only thing I ask him to do is the vacuming and he won't do it unless I ask. He knows its too heavy for my back(it goes out every time I use it). He agreed to vacuum once a week. So why do I have to ask him to do it everytime. I just do it now and hurt my back. If I had money, I would just move. This is not working. I resent him still seeing his wife and giving her all his money when she slept with my exhusband(yes he knows this). I must let this go and let God but this is a hard pill to swallow. I've tried to let him meet some of my friends being that he doesn't have any of his own. His supposed girlfriend I have never met. She has never came to meet the family. She uses him for his money. He sees these women on his payday. He gets happy before his dates and comes home with an attitude afterwards. He has sleep apnea and snores very hard, but never closes his door due to anxiety. Wow do I need a vacation!

Thanks for letting me ramble!

Smooches Lydia