spring0808's Journal

  God has blessed me with another new day. I am so glad to be here. I guess we all  have problems. The key is talking about your problems in order to deal with them. In dealing with them have you found that there are underlying problems that may have caused you to feel or be the way you are. So you take steps to get past these things. Do we really get past these things or just learn to cope with what has happened to you. In coping with these things you find that the past has a way of creeping back into your life.Then what do you do find stratergies that help you deal with it again for the time being and so the cycle is. I have spent all my life trying to cope with so many issues. The people that have done these things dont give a fat rats patuttie about trying to help and so there is the question why do I even bother. I have two sons that need me, well do they? Or is it that I need them. Am I hanging on to there lives because I have misplaced mine. I have made plans to go on a trip for the first time in my life and with the money thats involved, will I go through with it. I would like to have someone  in my life who gets me and then maybe I wouldnt be afraid to do me. I am always aware of other peoples feelings and I am a respectful person. I just dont like being disrespected because I am so easy going. And so what should I do, I cant change. I find myself right back in the same spot no matter what I say. (Oh I'm not dealing with them, I'll stay away) and then I want be hurt. The fact is they dont care until they want to use you. I am so lonely. I am so alone on my grieving over the loss of my daughter, I am so alone in being afraid of being around men in a small space. You would think that after all these years and as old as I am now with aging and all I wouldnt feel that way but some men dont care how old you are its just the fact that there is fear in your heart and your face and the fact that they can overpower you and my god..its awful. I have said that I have a lot of issues. I used to feel that there is probably nothing that I havent been through, but after veiwing this site there are.... Can anyone relate....anyone