spring0808's Journal

Once you finally make a decision to move on, thats exactlly what you need to do. Its hard I grant you, but it can be the best thing ever.We have pain, but to allow someone to continually inflict pain on us is just crazy.I'll admit that sometimes we are blind and we can't see the forest for the trees and we do misconscrue physcial and mental abuse as love because we are in such desperate need of affection and love we'll take anything. We settle for anything rather than have nothing and be alone. I think therapy is a great tool to help us see. I for one had therapy forever it seemed before I would even listen to my Dr. I keep trying to make things better. I said if I do this then maybe she'll love me, or if I give her that she'll love me. God made my heart soft. I love people and will do anything I can to help people. But at times I guess my kindness is seen as weakness. I don't like that part. To lie and to live a life of lies is just as bad. You hide things that should be in the open for fear of being judged. If you can't be honest with yourself then why should others trust  you. Always hiding things and letting thing slip out little by little, (not intentionally) is a dead give away of someone with deeper issues that need to be dealt with.Why live a life of pretend when the obvious is so apparant to others around you. You somehow end up looking like the fool you are trying to make out of others. I have made some decisions to move forward. I will leave some people behind me that I care about and  know do not care about me. I will speak up and I will be heard. Never again will I let the rantings of others force me to be someone I am not okay with or will I continue to communicate with liars. I am a good person, I know I am and I don't need lies, I am tired of lies and I am okay to be alone. If you don't want me around you and others then I want be around at all. I am getting back to the real world. I having truely been given a second chance and I have given others more than two chances. I will move forward with a new beginning . I am stronger than I have ever been. StaY Strong Spring