I'm Barbara. I'm.. 23 now. I've been away for a while, but I decided it's time to return. I have so much going on. I want to get better, I want to get worse. I broke up with my boyfriend at the beginning of the year, I'm mostly over him but tired of being alone. My life is utter turmoil. I'm taking care of my mother, about to be unemployed, and facing the prospect of having to move away from everything I have ever known. I'm too screwed up for one person. If you remember me, get back in touch, if not, I need new friends. The kind that help me eat, not the kind that tell me to throw up the little bit that I did.
I'm Barbara. I'm.. 23 now. I've been away for a while, but I decided it's time to return. I have so much going on. I want to get better, I want to get worse. I broke up with my boyfriend at the beginning of the year, I'm mostly over him but tired of being alone. My life is utter turmoil. I'm taking care of my mother, about to be unemployed, and facing the prospect of having to move away from everything I have ever known. I'm too screwed up for one person. If you remember me, get back in touch, if
Darkness. The moon. Stars. Friends. Poetry. German accents. Puddles. Randomness. Unique people.
Darkness. The moon. Stars. Friends. Poetry. German accents. Puddles. Randomness. Unique people.
1 discussion post
omgMuffins wrote a discussion post in the Eating Disorders support group: Obesity 11:11pm
I was watching something on Discovery Health about an extremely obese woman who had gastric bypass and…
omgMuffins and Kaycie are now friends 4:32am
omgMuffins wrote a journal entry: Back to the Land of the Living. (Update/Triggering) 3:18am
I'm back. Not sure if anyone remembers me.. I've been off for a bit over a year as far as I can…
omgMuffins and YeahIAteToday are now friends 3:07am
omgMuffins wrote a discussion post in the Eating Disorders support group: Hi, it's been a while 2:44am
It's been a while. But I seem to have recovered, and then relapsed, but into a different eating disorder.…
November 11, 2009 3:18am
I'm back. Not sure if anyone remembers me.. I've been off for a bit over a year as far as I can recall. I'm now single, and imbedded in a …
hey sweetie i miss talking to u how are u/ thinking about u hopeinbg things are ok reply back soon i would love to talk to u!
where r u?!?!?!?! i thought of u today...i was watching seinfeld today...and it was the one about muffin tops...and elaine was trying to get rid of the muffin stems...lol idk..i hope ur ok...let me know
Hi how ru doing?
How are you? Hope you are doing well
hey how are u doing? i'm here if u need me ok?
One day, I decided not eating worked, not consciously but I made excuses to myself and hid the behaviors. I didn't admit it for years. I went from anorexia to bulimia to both at once then back to anorexia. If I'm eating, I'm eating too much. It was irritability and no people and self-hatred. Malnutrition & vomiting & obsession. I want to get better, but hate the idea of gaining weight. I was doing okay, but now I'm not. I know it's bad, but the thoughts are there. And I don't know what to do.
Patterns, rituals, methods. I have things that have to be certain ways, if they aren't, I can't deal. My main factor is my eating disorder, calories, methods of eating, ways I eat, things I eat. People think I'm insane, sometimes, I agree.
It all goes back to when I was a little girl.. Or once upon a time? Or I hate being myself, I go through periods of hating other people. I dislike touching, being with people. I hate being the way I am. One day, I'm on top of the world, the next I don't want to get out of bed. No one understands just how bad I am because I'm all smiles and faking it. But I'm tired, oh so tired of everything there is in my life.
I hate public places. More than public places, I hate people. I cannot stand to be touched. And God forbid someone touch me when I'm unprepared for it. It's caused drama at home, at school, in my relationship, and in almost every other area of my life that you can imagine.What really sucks is I'm a full time college student, with a job, and with a highly-social boyfriend.I don't even want to go out in public anymore and no one understands.I suffer from social anxiety as well but it's connected.
Result/side effect/comorbidity of ED.
Lack of sleep for comfort issues and nightmares. Also again, related to the ED. Somewhat better with semi-normal eating.
I'm single and confused. I'm not ready to be with anyone, but tired of being alone. I've moved on, yet haven't found the someone new.
I've had several eating disorders, bouncing back from one to another. I'm recently "recovered" but having issues with healthy eating, proper eating, just general eating habits. I want to lose weight the healthy way.. And I just can't seem to do it on my own.
No matter which eating disorder you have, you're addicted to food. I'm currently eating far too much and I need it to stop!
Yay Anxiety? Not so much. I'm tired of being anxious, I'm tired of being phobic, I'm tired of being antisocial and worrying about everysinglefuckingthing that goes on daily. I just want "normal" again.
