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Poorboysbrat 
11:31pm, October 8, 2008
Wow, It's been a really long time since I've journaled!! Well lets see, I am still alive! LOL!
I have had to go back to work full time, which has been difficult, but the money has been very nice! I am driving 5 days a week about 10-14 hours a day and it's been a hell of a ride! I feel good that I'm working and out there truckin' with all of my old friends, but my home life is totally falling apart!
The house is a huge mess, the yard is a disaster and the critters are feeling soooo neglected! I am so wiped out when I get home that about all I can handle is feeding everyone, time for a little "play & cuddle" time with the "kids" and then its time to hit the sack and try to get more than the 3-4 hours of sleep I've been averaging lately! And on the weekends its time to play catch-up on everything and make sure to rest up for Monday!
I try not to let it get to me but the last few days I've been feeling like I'm at the end of my rope and its starting to fray, fast!!!
I have a great new Dr. and she has gone above and beyond the call of duty as far as treating my fibro goes, she tried to get me into a free treatment program in Seattle, but I didn't qualify because of my age!
They are only taking patients between the ages of 18-45 so I am too old, THANKS!!!! Other than that she is very cool and open about any and all possible treastment options and stands "beside" me through all of this crap which is a major change from my old doc who was too quick with the script pad and never talked or listened to me!
I've been in a flare for what feels like forever now, thank God its not a bad one, but its there and its making me miserable and I know its from stress.
I don't think I've ever felt so overwhelmed and quilty about the things around me than I do now! There isn't a place in this house right now that isn't screaming for some attention, and if I go outside its the same thing!! What do I do? Do I push throught the pain and fatique and just try and get r done, or do I take care of myself??!!
I am so sick of being sick!! I have always been the strong one in the family and of late I feel like that me never existed!! I am so tired of apologizing to everyone for not doing this or that or for feeling guilty for the same, it's like a broken record that no one is listening to...
OK, thats enough of the pity party!
I hope everyone is enjoying the Spring/Summer weather and that life is being good to you! I'm sorry I haven't been keeping in touch with ya'all and I hope you know I think about ya all aften and hope your'e well!
Take care of yourselves and have a great day!
love and hugs always
Brat
Comments
I can relate and wish I had an answer for you. I miss the old me too! I'm going to see a new doctor next month and am very hopeful she can help me. By the way, my vote is that you take care of yourself first. All that other crap will still be there tomorrow! Hope you are having a good weekend. Hang in there :o)
klik215
Have you ever heard of Flylady? It's a system for keeping the house in order that relies on the principle "You can do anything for 15 minutes!" It's very helpful with the house stuff for those of us who work, come home tired, and feel guilty looking at the mess we're too tired to deal with. www.flylady.net - never hurts to take a look!
PeaceN2You