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DianneE 
5:03pm, May 29, 2009
Sunday afternoon, my day off.....and spent day getting car washed, grocery shopping, cleaning.......
I'm feeling resentments.....bf is semi-retired, I work 6 or more days a week. I come home to trash heaped all over the house. He gets groceries sometimes...OK.....but he is just too tired today from what?????
I'm feeling underloved and overworked today, I guess. PITY PARTY IN FULL SWING! LOL
OK, I need to do a gratitude list!
I am grateful for:
Not gambling
Having plenty of work to do to earn money to pay off debts
Having my Mom still in this world
Having some very dear friends
Being relatively healthy
Having a man in my life who loves me
Having this site to come to for support
My bad attitude is starting to lift some....I need to really think about all these things on my gratitude list! Someone once said attitude is not just an important thing...it's the ONLY thing...that determines how happy we are in life.
Hugs to everyone.....Dianne
Comments
Yes, gratitude and realizing just how important what we have is.....but it's ok to let yourself feel a little resentment if that is what you are feeling. Overwork and exhaustion can get to a person, I know. Try letting bf know that you EXPECT him to clean up after himself....or he can find his own space to clutter. I know it is very difficult, especially as I am a bit of a slob....but only with my own things. Garbage is not acceptable and others' belongings would never be strewn around. Ok, getting a little overprotective of others' personal space here, sorry. Just seeing too many of my friends manipulated and used by others these days. You do have much to be grateful for....and so do all those whose lives you touch......I for one am very grateful for you:)
purplecat
Love your gratitude list, you do have a lot to be thankful for! Sometimes these "OH Sh*t's" just get strewn along our path. Maybe they are tests, not sure. But you are passing one of the biggest test's in your life (being GF) so I am sure that this one will be passed with flying colors as well. These little bumps in the path just make us stronger. I know your words of wisdom have given me strength, direction and HOPE --- and for that I am grateful. Have a wonderful week... Shelia
SheliaMac
Is this a "pity-pot" issue? ......I'd think not...... sounds more like a "healthy boundaries" issue, perhaps.....On another topic, we addicts are often over obsessive. We like to see all of our ducks in a nice, organized row...... all the forks in the drawer gotta be facing the same way, for example, and the rug must be perfectly paralell to the wall.
Now, my girlfriend is a lot like me in this respect....... everything gotta be neat, clean, organized, in its proper place and order........sometimes we drive each other nuts over it.......lol, I gotta wipe that dust off the tv screen NOW!!!....... she loves to fetch coasters and make me use them...... and tea towels gotta be folded before they're hung up on the oven door.
I'll do stuff at her place like turn one book on the shelf upside down, and next time I'm there I'll see it put back upside right again.
I don't know where this is going......noplace, I'd guess...... perhaps I made you smile......hope so...... maybe if he leaves too much junk lying about you could put it in his shoe......lol.
eastwester
Dianne, I'm feeling the 'love' here.
I can recall, me leaving for work with a clean house around 7:30 a.m. I'd get home around 6:30 p.m. to drink cups here and there, peanut shells on the floor, wrappings to snack cakes on the floor, dirty pans on the stove and dirty dishes/bowels on the dining room or living room tables and in the sink.
Arrgghh, DH would be either fast asleep (laptop in his lap) in the reclyner, or hunched over the laptop playing his game.
If he was awake when I got home and saw me picking things up, he'd always say, "I was gonna get that."
LOL... He didn't "get it." I realized one day, while a tidy house mattered greatly to me, things like a tidy house just did not matter to him.
Too, I think he always knew I'd clean it up (kinda like his mom did for him all his life).
I can appreciate and relate to your gratitude list... without gratitude (I sometimes call it a 'gladitude') I would just get pressed down by a daunting attitude.
I like the idea EW left about putting the stuff in his shoe. :->
xxxooo - debs
JordansMomDebby
HI Dianne.. Pitty Party???. I think not either.
I think you are sacrifising for your BF. Who asked you too..??. Who made you , cook, cleaner and slave'??. YOU work. YOu have a buisness. A breadwinner.
Louis Bascalia said.. A man can go out and buy everything he gets at home. He was helping this lady on the plane who had been ditched after 30 years of marriage. She was going on about how she 'gave up all her 'things to 'raise the kids and give her hubby all his wants and needs. The "OLD" look at what I did for him saddness.
This story sure 'said volumes to me at that time.
It turned me around from being a milk slave to my then man. I made me get my sons working at all chores also.
IN time they all got to do things.. around the house. Under protest LOL. ''I did not care.
NO one asked me to raise an Adults. NO one asked me to sacrifise my life. So "I" decided to stop.
So What iffen he found another. REspect had been lost years before that.
I realized I did not love myself for a long time.. And frankly how can you love someone else or LIke I used to ask .. Is it the image of the Love I wanted .. Great sex Wont' keep a relationship either or I'd be still there.
Dianne. toss the garbage bag 'tea towel.. easier than 'tossing bf ?.
love yah..Sandra..
gams5
Hey Dianne,
This is my 2nd time reading your je - thanks for sharing, btw. Sometimes I just don't know what to say, hard to believe, I know! I look around at our messes, wondering why they're there, knowing I'm the picker-upper! When I worked I was, now that I'm not working, I still am. Fortunately for me, Mark doesn't care about dust bunnies, etc. I did a better job keeping the house clean when I was working, even when I was gambling! I felt I must. I was a big, gigantic martyr. Not today. I get to it, when I get to it. Face it, house work is a never ending, thankless job! At least around this household it is. But I do understand your frustration, and you are over-worked. I'm gonna' say, it doesn't sound like a pity party to me, either. It sounds like life, not perfect. I'm so glad (gladitude) that I know you. I'm always checking for a je from you, and when you come off as human, it makes me absolutely smile! With as hard as you work, sometimes you seem like Wonder Woman! Especially if I compare myself to you, I'm Slug Woman! Love you, Robin aka Slug Woman!
Moyer
I agree.. no Pity Party... just life. Sometimes things aren't always fair-and sometimes it sucks, but you manage to focus on the things that are good, and your list is long.
I don't know why we think we have to do it all.. seems like no one really appreciates all we do but us-maybe it's just not that important to anyone else. I am forever and will probably be forever the one who makes things happen around here- but that's a choice I make. LOL.
You do work SOOOO Hard, and there's a reason, I understand, I do the same thing.
Whenever you are feeling underloved... just remember how so many of us love you here. WE LOVE YOU DIANE!!!
Love and hugs to you my friend.
loosenomore
Some days we need to just throw our hands in the air and say.... WHY? But once we get it all out we feel better, well at least that is how I am. I know how you feel about the working. It is hard when we work so much and it seems like we are the only one that does anything. Just think at least when it gets done it's done right. Hang in there and take a little time for yourself. Peace and Love. Patty
mrsfroggie