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aphroditexlt 
this is far more difficult than I had ever imagined. I have a serious addiction to smoking and it's really coming to light today. The jitters are horrible - I feel like I've overdosed on caffeine right now.
I keep hearing Ted and Lee go outside for a cigarette and I'm tempted to follow. I miss the social scene just as much as a cigarette in my mouth. I feel like I'll miss out on the laughs and jokes that make the day go by so much faster. Today has been extremely slow.. I can't believe it isn't even lunchtime yet. I still have more than 5 hours to go before I can leave this place. I can't wait!
I'm quitting because of how sick Mom is. Lung cancer is far more severe than I had ever imagined my Mom would be diagnosed with. My quitting is for Jay, Caylie, Mom and of course, myself. I want a healthier life and more stamina to do those things with Caylie that I struggle to do now. With luck, I will combat this addiction and look back at this as a tough time that was worth going through. I deserve a life that isn't controlled by when the next smoke break is. I deserve a life that isn't dictated by the smoking lounge. I want a long, happy life with my husband-to-be. I want to see my grandchildren and hopefully someday, my great grandchildren!
I deserve all those things and so much more!
