confused22's Journal

Is any of this real!!!!??? just like 6 months ago i was ur average teenager, living ur average life, doing all the things i should b doing right, and making the mistakes most teenagers make... and now look at me... im a total screw up... im fat im ugly i make mistakes by cutting myself! and stocking up pills... wth is wrong with me??? just a few months ago i thought that goth ppl were scary, i thought that ppl who cut themselves were stupid, and suicidal ppl r freaks who freak out over nothing... now i wish i WAS goth looking, i cut myself, and i think suicidally... so many thigns have been ssoo messed up lately!!!!!! i just found out my mom had breast cancer, i got put in a "stupid" class cuz my grades slipped last trimester cuz i didnt do my h/w cuz of all the stuff that was happening 2 me!!! and so instead of having 1 class were i get 2 fool arounf they took that away from me and turned it into a "homework" doing time weer they treat every1 like a bunch of sped kids!!!! and ontop of THAT my brother will probably b going 2 iraq this summer... and i just found out a whole lot about 1 of my freinds who i feel sssooo sorry 4 now and... is ANY of this REALLY happening? y? y did it happen so fast? y does it not seem real?? y? y? YYY? im still waiting 2 wake up from this rotten nightmare... and i will forever more b trapped inside of it...