Karl42's Journal

After a few really bad days ,i feel quite alot better today(i say this cautiously as it never seems to last long no matter how hard i try),i went to an anxiety/depression group over a course of 9 years and learned so much about the whole thing,i learned how to cope but have always struggled as i beleive the root of my problem is unresolved emotion which at times is  totally agonising and devouring,so it doesnt matter how much cbt ,positive thinking,exercise,visualisation techniques blah blah i do it still comes to eat me alive ,the fact that im single and lonely and often agoraphobic doesnt help,i think having a good partner takes away about 50% of the problem ,i am extremely cautious of choosing women and due to a series of failed relationships ,i dont even try,i have been cheated on 3 times ,and try to look out for someone i think will be 'safe',but i really dont think my life will ever be close to being 'right' until i can overcome this emotional pain,ive had years of councelling and havent managed yet but think i have to keep trying ,i cant give up but feel so lost,i havent been back to that self help group in a few years ,but will look back into rejoining it i think as even once a fortnight is better than nothing,pleased i have my part time work and friends on here,thank you for that