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Atay 
8:03pm, July 20, 2009
Well yesterday is over. Here's what I learned. When I set a goal and it usually backfires, there is a huge opportunity for information in this piece. Basically, if I make a commitment and find out why i am not reaching that goal I'll discover the obstacle. That obstacle is the REAL issue and is loaded with all kinds of information. For instance, I was thinking about how I concentrate on food and have this night time eating routine that annoys the hell out of me. So, continually I decide I will not do this anymore and continually I do. Someone asked me, what is getting in the way of your sticking to the goal. I say because I am uncomfortable, the eating eases my anxiety. That someone says, AH HA! ANXIETY! What is behind the anxiety. I say it's because I am avoiding my daughter and not working on my relationship with her. Someone says, BINGO. That is where the goals need to be set. That is where the energy needs to go. I say, exactly. So, it interests me how that works because I can use this as information! When I reach for something and I run short of it I direct myself at that obstacle.
Ah, this life. Exhausts me. I'm on my way to teach a cycling class and I am going to work VERY softly. Myt body says, "Slow down!" So, I will. I wonder how that will affect my energy that I put out and how that will affect the energy the class puts into their own workout. It will be intereting. Actually, it's not really interesting at all is it?
Ah, this life. Exhausts me. I'm on my way to teach a cycling class and I am going to work VERY softly. Myt body says, "Slow down!" So, I will. I wonder how that will affect my energy that I put out and how that will affect the energy the class puts into their own workout. It will be intereting. Actually, it's not really interesting at all is it?
Comments
Atay..you freakin amaze me! WOW!
ShariB
Hi Atay, I have problems with goals too. Kinda lost me, but am tired too so it is easy. And a lot on my mind. The exercise thing is not staying around, yet finances and not having enough money or making any money is a big issue. Getting myself to work at all on what I should be doing and focus to get something done is difficult for me. smiles and hug
hotairballoonmommy
You are very articulate and insightful. I find myself wondering what my true goal is. I eat in the afternoon to soothe my loneliness or emptyness or feeling of being overwhelmed with the kids and constant tiredness. I eat because the thought of playing rescue heros one more time with my son is going to make my brain stop working and there is much guilt associated with not wanting to play with my children. My expectations of what I should get done during the day are so wild and far stretched that I just eat and purge all afternoon. No good. Has to change. I hope I can get there.
wrongway
Just glad to hear someone else struggling with a nightly eating routine. I have this pattern and food that i binge on EVERY night. Same foods, same way, same order. i cant break this pattern! what the hell am i doing?????
Grace4237