Atay's Journal

Just thinking that the theme cure for not loving yourself is to find a Love, Energy, or spiritual connection with a god that loves you and to connect with that and find self-love there.  Again, I think, well, that's certainly looking outside myself, once again, for love.  I mean, that same Energy also made my deliciously looking karate sensei and he doesn't love me.  That Spiritual Bliss loves and created the Earth and she still destroys and causes pain.

So, screw that. 

But, I am on a mission: to like myself.  And, I am going to try.  Last night my daughter asked, you don't believe in a god, do you?   Like other people?

I don't.  But I do believe in an Energy.  A Goddess, A God, A undefined Love.  I just don't think it my duty, right, or responsibility to put my human qualities on something so grand and mysterious.  Who do I think I am? 

My daughter loves to go to church.  I'm anti-Christian and yet I let her go.  I will explain to her that religions are not my favorite because they have the tendency to divide us humans and I feel that we really are united by one thing;;  LOVE.  That is my God.  And, to help myself today, I am going to talk with her and let her know that it doesn't matter what religion she chooses, as long as she doesn't judge others' beliefs, because, ultimately, we all want the same thing.  Love.  And, if I can do that today, then that is something I will like about myself.