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Atay 
8:03pm, July 20, 2009
Can't tell what is bothering me so much. A little panicky. With this feeling like I need to DO something, yet knowing there is something bothering me. I am assuming it's money, but I don't know how to fix the problem. I can't get health insurance for my daughter, but we haven't had it so far. What is it? My father's death? My daughter's changing? I don't know.
UPDATED GOALS
I'm just walking around my house in circles today. Can't focus. I tried to sit and write down what I am going to do, hour by hour, but that list didn't pan out at all. I'm cleaning a room and someone stops over. I'm needing a bite to eat right in the middle of a painting project. My dog escapes and someone calls me because they found her downtown. I need to go for a walk but the paint is almost dry on the dresser. I am online while waiting for the clothes to dry, yet I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be doing something else, so my skin starts to crawl and I have a nice panic attack. I am sad because I am finally starting to find things to do and my depression is lifting just in time for me to pick up my daughter after her week long vacation, which I spend being depressed and bored instead of doing all the things that I wanted to get done, done.
The five pounds is going off, so that's good.
I'm not quite right today. What is this feeling? Anxiety. Why? A little mania perhaps. Ugh!
I'm tired.
UPDATED GOALS
Comments
Well, I'm in a funk, that's for sure. And of course I'm bummed further because I have to time it just for when I have ten days by myself without my daughter. I'm completely bored and nearly depressed. I am going out walking on hikes, reading books, relaxing, but nothing feels good. I went for a long walk with a friend even. That was good. I always am in need of that outside stimulation it seems. Not content with myself perhaps. I want to eat candy but I am trying to lose the 5lbs, so that's out. Guess i'll go watch a movie and hope that this feeling passes.
Comments
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Good idea losing yourself in a movie! That often does it for me! Especially curling up in a corner with my little portable DVD player! Sort of like sucking my thumb! Ha ha!
Past Entries
| July 2009 |
Sunday, 7/19
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Thursday, 7/16
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Tuesday, 7/14
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Monday, 7/13
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Monday, 7/13
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Saturday, 7/11
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Friday, 7/10
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June 2009 |
Sunday, 6/28
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May 2009 |
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Sunday, 5/24
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October 2008 |
Tuesday, 10/07
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September 2008 |
Monday, 9/29
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Sunday, 9/28
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June 2008 |
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Monday, 6/02
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May 2007 |
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Thursday, 5/10
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April 2007 |
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Sunday, 4/15
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Thursday, 4/05
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Thursday, 4/05
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Monday, 4/02
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March 2007 |
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Friday, 3/23
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Thursday, 3/22
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Tuesday, 3/20
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Monday, 3/19
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Monday, 3/12
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Saturday, 3/10
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Wednesday, 3/07
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Wednesday, 3/07
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Monday, 3/05
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Sunday, 3/04
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Friday, 3/02
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Friday, 3/02
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Friday, 3/02
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Thursday, 3/01
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February 2007 |
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Wednesday, 2/28
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Tuesday, 2/27
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Tuesday, 2/27
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Tuesday, 2/27
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Tuesday, 2/27
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Monday, 2/26
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Monday, 2/26
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Sunday, 2/25
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Saturday, 2/24
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Thursday, 2/22
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Tuesday, 2/20
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Thursday, 2/15
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Saturday, 2/10
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Wednesday, 2/07
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Goal Updated
I have found that when this happens to me, I just stop what I am trying to do, put in a godd movie, get in my comfy chair and just relax and forget everything.
Countrygrandma
Multitaskiing is over rated. Slow down and do one thing until it is done. Focus, my dear! FOCUS!
beiceth
Aww hun! I hope you are finding some balance soon! Remember... patience is a virtue!
XOXOXOX