Journal Entry for August 22, 2008
August 22, 2008 11:50am
Progress
20 %
atruefriend 
8:48am, September 22, 2009
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About Me
atruefriend
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About Me
I love music. I love art. I love architecture and design... pretty much anything creative. I love finding music, art, poetry, lyrics, or famous quotes that express my emotions so perfectly or that capture what I'm dealing with so vividly. Maybe it's somewhat of a cop-out, but it helps me not feel so alone. And when the words are hard to find, it helps when someone else has already found them. I am a college educated professional. I am married, no children. I am a strong believer in the power of prayer. I am a loyal, faithful friend. I currently struggle with depression, sexual orientation, identity (as a result of my physical transformation of losing 130+ lbs in 2 years) and codependency.
I love music. I love art. I love architecture and design... pretty much anything creative. I love finding music, art, poetry, lyrics, or famous quotes that express my emotions so perfectly or that capture what I'm dealing with so vividly. Maybe it's somewhat of a cop-out, but it helps me not feel so alone. And when the words are hard to find, it helps when someone else has already found them. I am a college educated professional. I am married, no children. I am a strong believer in the power of prayer.
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Interests
I love spending time with friends and (some:) family, playing boardgames, cards, sushi, bowling, crossword puzzles, amusement parks, etc... I also love movies, music and traveling. Shopping, reading/writing when inspired, jigsaw puzzles and taking pictures, are also things I enjoy.
I love spending time with friends and (some:) family, playing boardgames, cards, sushi, bowling, crossword
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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I question everything...
July 9, 2008 12:46pm
I've had one of the most difficult weekends ever in my life... on top of that, I turned 35 on Monday. I feel so out of control and so completely …
This entry is private
This entry is private
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Journal Entry for February 18, 2008
February 18, 2008 6:15pm
WOW.
A LOT has transpired with me and my situation over the past two weeks. So much, I haven't had a chance to write until now. And I really …
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Hugbook
Hug
hugs have a great week
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Hug
hey beautiful woman how are u
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Moment of Peace
i hope u feel better have a great weekend!!!
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Ray of Sunshine
ur purpose is to to love you and be happy ok have a great day!!
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Moment of Peace
how are u
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Bisexuality
I've never been a fan of labels. I've been attracted to men and women as long as I can remember. I didn't act on my attraction to women until college. Funny, I always thought of it as a silly college thing. Married for five years, together nine, my husband has always known this about me. I recently met a girl in class and, well... I'm questioning a lot about myself right now. I need help and support. My husband knows everything and I love him very much but I'm feeling very lost.
Close Depression
Up until July 10, 2008 I had never been diagnosed with depression. I know I've suffered from it for years. It's gotten worse over the past 12 months. I'm still looking for the right therapist and in the meantime I'm taking medication.
Treatments
- Lexapro Somewhat Helpful
- I'm also on Ativan but it makes me very loopy and tired, so I can only take it at home before bed which doesn't help much with anxiety at work.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I finally found who I feel is a good fit for me in terms of a counselor. Now, if only I could afford to see him as often as I need to! :)
- Wellbutrin Working / Worked
Open Families & Friends Affected By Suicide
I lost a dear friend June 28, 2006 to suicide. I had no idea he was depressed much less suicidal. It hit me hard. I miss him dearly. He would have turned 30 on July 9, 2006. I have since become very aware of my friends and their moods - I don't want this to ever happen again to someone I love.
Open Families & Friends of Gays & Lesbians
My father left us when I was 16. He decided after nearly 30 years of marriage to my mom, that he is gay. This was several years ago. I am over the initial trauma of the whole situation and look forward to helping others in similar situations. I am just happy that my dad can be himself now and live his life in a way that makes him most happy.
Open Female Sexual Issues
I'm really confused right now. I'm not sure if there's something wrong with me sexually or if there's something wrong with my relationship. I never want to have sex. But deeper than that, I think... I worry that it's not me but maybe that I'm just not attracted to my husband. :(
Open Sexual Abuse
I was sexually abused throughout my childhood by a relative. I was later a victim of sexual abuse in my teens. I believe what happened to me as a teen was a direct result of what happened to me throughout my childhood. My perception and understanding of sex was severely screwed up. I do feel I have overcome the sexual abuse I suffered as a child and want to offer help to those still dealing with similar traumas.
Open Gastric Bypass Surgery
I had Gastric Bypass Surgery on January 18, 2006. I have lost and kept off 130+ lbs to date. It literally SAVED MY LIFE. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, but by far the BEST. It is not the easy way out, but it works if you follow the rules. I love my life now. I truly feel anything is possible.
Open Physical & Emotional Abuse
I was in a seven year relationship with a physical and emotional abuser. Thankfully, I have overcome that situation. I still wonder if I struggle with this part of my past subconsciously, though. I know I'm so much stronger now in life because of what I've been through. I just want to be the healthiest me I can be.
Treatments
- Leave Working / Worked
- I finally ended my relationship seven years after it started. It was SO hard, but I survived it. You can too.
Open Codependency
I just started seeing a therapist about a week ago. Within the first ten minutes she pretty much told me without actually saying it that I was codependent. I didn't know what that meant, but now that I'm reading Codependent No More, I'm figuring it out... and she's right. I am codependent.
Treatments
- Talking Too Soon to Tell
- I'm seeing a therapist now. She warned me it will get worse before it gets better. I can't imagine it could get any worse.
- \"Codependent No More\" Somewhat Helpful
- I'm currently reading the book Codependent No More and it's opening my eyes to a lot.
