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How much more am I supposed to deal with?
My sister, the only remaining family I have any connection with, just PM'd me to say that she cancelled her operation for Monday. This was an essential op for her and something that can be a big threat to her health if she leaves it be.
The great NHS waiting lists here mean that it can be years before she gets another chance.
This woman has 5 children. One legged it to Cardiff as soon as she could and we rarely hear anything from her. The eldest is currently a model altho is hardly being paid, technically out of work until she is wanted and contributes nothing but further stress and upset to their family home.
The next two are in school, one is autistic and takes a lot of attention and work. The youngest has just started school and demands a lot of attention also.
Her so-called husband is a total sponging loser. He has had so many jobs I've lost count. Has a good talent in Photography yet couldnt keep that going. He is in his 50s and has poor health, so he cant get jobs easily. My sister is left to look after bills, the home (literally everything, both the male and female roles there), the main bread-winner, looking after the children and no time for herself.
They are severely in debt, cannot get help anywhere and I am the one she comes to to offload all this. I can't take any more especially now she has given up this operation all because he has walked out on another job and she now needs to do as much as possible, working all hours and taking any extra work she can to keep a roof over their heads. That also includes all the other shite that she has to put up with and do.
The thought of losing her terrifies me, she's all I have. There is nothing I can do for her anymore. Any time that we may have shared when he worked is now impossible (we cannot see each other when he is home as he never really liked me, hates us together and times every little thing that she does).
So without meaning to sound selfish, I have literally nothing anymore. No social contact other than this site and that is non-existent (dont know why I bother tbh). No where to turn, no one to turn to, no control over anything that is happening and I have to sit back and watch all this go ahead and see no way out.
And all this "Stay strong" "You're not alone" stuff is total crap. It is more than painfully clear to me that it is exactly what I am, alone, unwanted, discarded and just there for others to take advantage of when it suits them or if it makes them feel better. Great frickin existence! 
