jamesross's Journal

  Oh boy. Things are constantly happening. Got home last night and the phone was shut off. Wanted to call some people to say goodbye, but can't. Bought the cat food and stuff, but forgot the hard food. Have to get Paul to get that later. He's driving me to Halton House, because he needs me to do some stuff for him this morning. Said 8 O'clock, but not here still. Spoke with Bob last night about things. He said it wasn't a good idea to have Clarence look after the cats. Apparently Clarence can get nasty at times when he drinks. I see that too. Last night he was drinking at the place we were working at, and started getting iritable when Bob wanted to do more. The beer ran out, so Clarence wanted to go. He's been charged before with assault when drunk, so if he was drinking and the cats happen to scratch him, or bother him, there's a real possibility that he would smack them or something. I don't want that. Bob said he knew a Christian guy that would come and look after them. After I thought things over, I thought he was right, so I left it with Bob to look after. Bob and Paul have been so good to me, and to think only a short while ago I thought everything they were doing and saying was bullshit. Bob always told me he wanted to help me, but I never trusted him. Boy, when I think back my head was really messed up, but I thought I knew exactly what I was doing. Wrong!. Shit I just noticed a filling missing in my top tooth. There's a big gap tghere now. Another tooth comming out. Everytime it seems like I stop drinking I lose a tooth or two. This better be the last. There starting to get scarce. Going to be gumming it soon. Anyway, I'm all set to go. Been a couple of days not drinking, as required for my entry, and I do feel very good. Only had five hours sleep, but I feel good. I'm seeing lots of potential,. and hope through all this. Working for Bob and Paul is very good for me. I can get other jobs too from people that like my painting, so I never will be without work. I've saved up over a thousand dollars already in such a short time, and that tells me that I can get my licence back if I keep going on track. With a licence, that means I can get a car and get back into bussiness again with Painting. Something not even possible while drinking. I've been wanting that for about five years. Loseing my licence was very devestating to me. Meant loseing my painting bussiness, because I couldn't do estimates or go to jobs. Without a car you can't get a good job. I used to makw thirty dollars an hour painting, easy. Without a car you can only get minumum paying jobs, and it's very discouraging. Yup, I think all good is going to come from, all this. God really is good. (Funny how we only say that when things seem to go the way we want. Try thanking him in the middle of a disaster.) Well, thank you to all you that have been here for me on D.S. You really can't imagine the nights you helped me. I do love you all. Jet, Amy, Serenity, Red, Jenn, Terry, I love you all, and thank you. I won't say goodbye, because this is a begining. I'll be back in November. Thank you. God bless, and I love you all, and if I left anyone out I'm sorry. Just so much on my mind right now, I love you all very much, and thanks. Later. Thank you Lord.