jamesross's Journal

  Feeling pretty good today. Things are slowly getting back in order. I cleaned the livingroom yestetrday. Took me about an hour and a half. I still have some to do like the windows and things, but it's nice now. I'm going to clean the bedroom sometime and mayby start sleeping there again. Throw out the other matresses, and mayby put my dinning table back again.I want my nice home to come into. I really do like that. When I thought  was going to have to lose everything, it made me really think about everything hard. I don't want to go back to living in just a room again. I like this. My own washroom, privacy, a kitchen that is just right for me. It might not be the best, but it's pretty darned good. Having Jimmy , and now his girlfriend is an added touch of love to me. I hate being alone, but with these two now I don't feel lonely. They need me, and I enjoy taking care of them. I'm calling the new cat Jet. I got Jimmy with a friend of mine that we shared a beautiful thing together. She named Jimmy, so I decided to name the new cat after her nick name. They are getting along a lot better now. She comes out from under the couch more often. Jimmy still can't focuse on anything else. I seen him kiss her this morning when she was eating. He's trying. I kind of miss his old ways. Sleeping beside me, talking all the time with me, and rubbing him, but this is all new to him so I guess that's the way it is. Later on when the novelty wears off I suppose things will get back to normal. I can't tell how old she is, but she has this meow almost like a little howl. A lot differant from Jimmy's little meeew. Guess she's a hussy, he's hoping. God sure has a sense of humour at times. My biggest dream in life has always to have a family, but because of my drinking, druging, and careless ways that just was not possible, but now God seems to be giving me a cat family. Mayby he knows I can't handle a real family right now, and perhaps this is his way of giving me the next best thing. I suppose later there will be kittens comming. I know that's a long fotrecast, but Jimmy isn't neutered. Never seem to be able to get the money for that. Oh well, just have to deal with things as they come. I beleive that animals have the right to live there lives and experiance babies too. Sure some circumstances call for us to make decisions about neutering them, but I really think they have a right to live the way God meant them to. Anyway, off to church today. I phoned Cathy by mistake, but we were talking. She asked if I was going to church. I said no, but got thinking after, "why not.' It's nice out. I've been working hard all week with not much others around, and I would like to see some people. Thank you so much Lord.      Back from Church now. I'm glad I went too. I enjoyed the singing, and being with people. My mind was doing a lot of thinking while I was there. Made it hard to concentrate, or hear the sermon. mostly it was things to do with all the shit that's been going on with Sheldon the past few days, and the last couple of months, and the toll it's been taking on me has really been a lot. All the time i spent pissed off about him being here and wrecking my place, then the money going and being so mad I couldn't sleep, and now having to deal with childrens services. I've really had enough. I decided that I'll just tell them everything one time and that's it. The rest, and what they do is up to them. I've wasted enough on all this bullshit, and it's time to get on with my own life again. I really don't care about Sheldon at all. I know in the future I sure won't make the same mistake of renting to someone with a kid. I don't even want to rent to anyone. I like my space. Got my two cats now and me. That's enough. Thank you Lord.