jamesross's Journal

  Feeling not bad today. Got some more sleep, and my mind seems to be calming down. Still no word about the money from Dillon, but I'm just trusting what he told me. Still think Sheldon is nothing but a con, but leaving that aside too. Still so much cleaning to do here from him. I keep finding stashes of garbage all over. Really glad that he's gone. Seem to be getting my mind back slowly. Working with Paul is going alright. They pay really cheap for the work they get, but hey, if he's going to help me like he said then it's all good. I need all the help I can get right now. I don't want Jimmy to have to leave all the space he has here and have to live in a room that he can't see out the window. I have lots of windows here that he loves to sit in and watch the birds and squirels in the trees. He has all his toys to play with, and he's happy. I don't want to take that from him. Paul said he would come to welfare with me to help me get something. Even if that doesn't work I am entitled to unemployment. My other job never sent my record of employment because the manager wants to play, but that can be taken care of. They have to send it by law, when is a differant story tho. I'm getting my other record of employment from the painting today, and because they layed me off that means I'm entitled to it sooner than if I was fired, so that is good. I had a phone interview with Halton house yesterday. They asked asll kinds of things about my family, drug use since I first started, criminal charges, wife, children...etc. Started getting a little choked when I was talking about my family, wife and kids. There's hurt there for sure. I usually don't get into those things much because the people are dead and doesn't seem to be nothing I can do about the way I was then. Only thing I can do is try to change now like I'm doing. Well, not much else happening right now. Just working most of the time. That helps me a lot to keep my mind ocuppied. If I were to be just sitting at home, all I would do is think and worry about everything, and then some. I'de be a real basket case then for sure. With painting I find that I have to concentrate pretty hard on what I'm doing, because I try to do good work that people will like, and because of that I can't think too much shit. That's why I love painting so much. Just gets my mind totally off things. It's good. Well, I'm taking a bath now and getting ready for another step foreward today. Thank you Lord so much for everything.