Heading to School in 45 days!
July 1, 2008 7:27pm
I signed up for classes and I'm ready to go this fall! Yay! I've never felt so independent and proud of myself. I'm a little scared but …
Progress
90 %
HaniBani 
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About Me
HaniBani
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About Me
I have suffered from anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember, most likely as a result of living in a physically and verbally abusive household from birth through around age 17. Even after many years of living in a safe environment with a loving husband, I can't seem to put my past behind me-- and I suffer from recurring nightmares, panic attacks, and severe social anxiety. I've been unable to work outside of home for around 7 years now, and I have trouble even talking to people outside of my comfort zone. I've even gone so far as to lock myself indoors for months at a time for fear that even a mailperson will start a conversation with me. After years of traveling, I moved back to my hometown (close to family) to face my fears once again. I'm now in the process of working through all of this and undergoing therapy. I've also gotten my medications straightened out (after many bad reactions to others), and I am content with taking 20mg of Lexapro per day and .5 mg of Lorazepam at night.
I have suffered from anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember, most likely as a result of living in a physically and verbally abusive household from birth through around age 17. Even after many years of living in a safe environment with a loving husband, I can't seem to put my past behind me-- and I suffer from recurring nightmares, panic attacks, and severe social anxiety. I've been unable to work outside of home for around 7 years now, and I have trouble even talking to people outside
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Interests
spending time with my hubby, exercise, online gaming, art, writing poetry, foreign language and films, and reading
spending time with my hubby, exercise, online gaming, art, writing poetry, foreign language and films,
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Self-Acceptance
May 20, 2008 10:47pm
I've been struggling with anxiety and panic attacks since I can remember, fighting every step of the way, and hating every minute of it. After a …
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Accepted!
May 20, 2008 10:42pm
I finally got all my application and paperwork in for college(after being scared for years to commit to it), and I was quickly accepted into 2 local …
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Journal Entry for January 7, 2008
January 7, 2008 3:32pm
My GP took me off of Wellbutrin this past week after I exhibited increased anxiety, over-the-top energy (couldn't get tired), increased panic …
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Journal Entry for December 31, 2007
December 31, 2007 3:43pm
I have been meaning to start a journal for quite some time now, but on many occasions, it tends to bring out feelings that I'd rather tuck away. …
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Hugbook
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Come & Join Our Safe Haven http://dailystrength.org/groups/no...
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A New Support Group For Abuse Survivors http://dailystrength.org/groups/su...
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hey hun, how are you doin? love and hugs coiming ur way!! xx
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Thinking of you..Have a GOOD one! Blessings and Love, Marie
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Anxiety
Treatments
- Acupuncture Considering
- Ativan Working / Worked
- My anxiety reached a peak after getting sick in January. I didn't sleep for around 10 days and was having panic attacks multiple times daily. I went to the emergency room because I couldn't eat, and my body was going into muscle spasm from exhaustion and malnutrition, and the doctor prescribed Ativan. I've been sleeping fine since then, and it really helps reduce night terrors.
- Breathing Exercises Working / Worked
- BuSpar Considering
- Hypnotherapy Considering
- Lexapro Working / Worked
- I started taking it around 2 1/2 months ago, and it seems to be working well. I've always questioned the efficiency of any antidepressants, and after failing with several others, I think I've found one that evens me out without side effects. I feel a lot calmer, and my resistance to panic has increased.
- Meditation Somewhat Helpful
- Only works to a certain extent. My relaxation quickly switches back to anxiety after a session.
- Xanax Not Working
- worked for a 1-2 hr timeframe to begin with, but eventually began making my panic disorder worse. don't feel like myself (very depressed), and I'm weaning off of them asap.
- Zoloft Not Working
Close Panic Attacks
Treatments
- Ativan Working / Worked
- BuSpar Considering
- Meditation Not Working
- Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- Wellbutrin Not Working
- In the first week, displayed increased anxiety, over-the-top energy (couldn't get tired), panic attacks, and confusion.
- Xanax Not Working
- worked for a 1-2 hr timeframe to begin with, but eventually began making my panic disorder worse. don't feel like myself (very depressed), and I'm weaning off of them asap.
Open Depression
Treatments
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Too Soon to Tell
- Elavil Not Working
- Lexapro Working / Worked
- Meditation Somewhat Helpful
- Only works to a certain extent. My relaxation quickly switches back to anxiety after a session.
- Wellbutrin Not Working
- In the first week, displayed increased anxiety, over-the-top energy (couldn't get tired), panic attacks, and confusion.
- Xanax Not Working
- I feel even more depressed than when I started taking these. I really don't feel like myself.
Open Shyness
I've been extremely shy since I was just a toddler. I don't know if that will ever change.
Treatments
- Pets Considering
- Psychotherapy Considering
- Socializing Not Working
Open Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)
I was just recently diagnosed with IBS, after 2 years of off and on stomach problems. Anxiety as well as some foods seem to be triggers.
Treatments
- Acidophilus Somewhat Helpful
- Avoid Certain Foods / Chemicals Working / Worked
- High Fiber Diet Working / Worked
- Dissolvable fiber supplements twice a day have saved my stomach!!! My IBS isn't fully gone, but has improved by at least 75%.
- Imodium Somewhat Helpful
- Lomotil Somewhat Helpful
- Probiotics Somewhat Helpful
Open Chronic Pain
I have had chronic neck and back pain with muscle spasm for around 5 years now (after a fall down a flight of icy stairs). I've been diagnosed with cervical loss of lordosis, scar tissue formation around a segment of my thoracic spine, as well as hypermobile and hypomobile areas there, but not much can be done about it it seems. I'm no longer being treated because I'm tired of seeing doctors about it. I also have knee problems (another story).
Treatments
- Flexeril Working / Worked
- worked great for muscle spasms, but not recommended for long-term use by doctors. I am no longer taking.
- Hydrocodone Working / Worked
- Helpful, but doctors always hesitant to prescribe.
- Lidoderm Not Working
- doesn't seem to do the trick for me or my mother (who is also a CP sufferer). they fall off very easily, and I don't feel much of a difference when i use them
- Massage Working / Worked
- Worked well for relieving muscle spasm but not very affordable
- Neurontin Somewhat Helpful
- seemed to work well in combination with flexeril and hydrocodone
- Physical Therapy Somewhat Helpful
- TENS Considering
Open Physical & Emotional Abuse
Grew up in a home where I was physically and emotionally abused. Still overwhelmed by anger, nightmares, and anxiety even though I am in a safe place now.
Treatments
- Abuse Counseling Considering
- Art Somewhat Helpful
- Forgiveness Not Working
- Psychotherapy Considering
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
Open Asthma
Type: Adult AsthmaRecently diagnosed with asthma while sick with laryngitis, bronchitis. Cannot stop coughing, especially at night--and often wake up with forced air coming up.
Treatments
- Albuterol Somewhat Helpful
- Seems to help calm down my breathing, but the spasm/reflex to cough under my chest is still uncontrollable when lying down.
- Breathing Exercises Not Working
- Helps to calm me down during a panic attack, but doesn't help cough reflex.
Open Sexual Abuse
My 11 year old niece recently shared with me a secret--that her step-father was sexually abusing her. He was arrested Friday night and made a confession. This is a terrible time for the entire family, and we all feel so betrayed and confused. I only wish I could heal all of the pain this man has inflicted.
Open Insomnia
Treatments
- Ambien Not Working
- Terrible experience! Experienced hallucinations and behavioural changes. Didn't sleep a wink with this stuff, and I'd never try it again.
- Ativan Working / Worked
- The only thing that REALLY helps with my anxiety-related insomnia.
- Counting Sheep Not Working
- Never worked for me. Makes my brain to busy :/
- Meditation Working / Worked
- Before bed, it definitely makes a difference!
- Music Not Working
- I CANNOT sleep with music on.
- Physical Exercise Working / Worked
- Cardio and vigorous exercise NO LATER than 4 hours before bed really helps.
- Reading Working / Worked
- Nothing like getting your mind off of the real world. :)
- Valerian Not Working
- Lexapro Working / Worked
Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Treatments
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Too Soon to Tell
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- Reading Somewhat Helpful
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
Open Restless Legs Syndrome
My husband is currently undiagnosed, but I am worried that he may have this condition. Being an insomniac myself makes this harder on both of us.
