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Rudytrue 
7:13am, May 3, 2009
Sometimes to keep it together you've got to leave it alone.
I would complain, but I've learned from past experiences that it can always be worse.There are good days and bad.The good day consist of bird watching and watching my dogs and cats.And sometime I even venture into town.LOL!!!!The bad days, I just watch tv and lay in the bed with all of my fur babies and sleep and veg out.lol
Today I went to the bank and paid some bills,went to the Dr.,went to the water supply place and bought 160 lbs of water softener salt, went to walmart and got some christmas gifts.I feel ok, considering.I did get my hair cut.My hair dresser mentioned my hair loss.I didn't say anything I just smiled.
Weather here sux right now.Already i'm tired of winter and long for spring.It is so pretty when it snows... it just doesn't go away here.A huge difference from Atlanta.It is always gone by 2 days and it is very rare for it to snow there.
The Doc says that I look good for my tx.I've maintained only a 15 lb weight loss.She said most people lose more.I don't mind weighing 145.It makes me feel healthier.And maybe I don't look so sick?LOL
Holidays are here.Now this always bothers me.I wish my parents and brother were still alive.We had some great christmas's.Mama always cooked a christmas meal fit for a king.Daddy always carved the ham and turkey,and Pete always had a big smile on his face.And....Dennis my only living brother was always pleasant during the holiday.
If I could go back,I would never miss a second when I had an opportunity to see them and didn't.I would be there with bells on.
Somehow, I feel them here with me.I believe they nudge in times of trouble.A light unexplained brush on the shoulder.I never dismiss it as "coincidence"
Some day, we'll all be together again.I know it.
And so today I will close by remembering and honoring Mama,Daddy and Pete.Wishing that they were here now, knowing that they are all here......I just can't see them.
I also think of my birth daughter this time of year.Amber.....I hope you are happy and healthy .I pray for you always, my child.Do you know about me?Will I ever see you again?I'm getting old here :)The one thing I would like more than anything in this world is to meet you.By God, it will happen.If not, then God must have his reasons.
Merry chrismas,Mama,Daddy,Pete and Amber.....I love you!
Cindy
Comments
now dammit cindy, you have such a way of putting things in perspective....I'm such a whiner! My feelers get hurt way to easily, always have, get teased about it to this day, which of course hurts my feelers all over again. I remember all the cooking and going on too....my dad used to put a big hand written sign on the living room door that said "do not enter - Big Daddy'O....he used that hand written thing my whole life, it got to be pretty tattered lookin' lol I love you, thank you for hanging with me. I know I'm a pain in the ass, but I'm a cute one right? xoxo
Amaterasu
((((Cindy)))) I wish we could turn back time too, and I think you are right that our loved ones are right here with us...just not the way we want. Yay you! on your busy day! I have jammie days, or grief days, seems to me they help. Wishing you a blessed holiday season and hoping that every day finds you feeling better. Love you.
sybil
Oh this is so nice, I'm soo sad to see how much you miss them all.
As you say; one day we will all be with our pass love ones.
Love & Respect, Mckenzie one hour at the time.
Mckenzie
You are very much in my thoughts always, I think you are so amazing, keep hanging in there hun. I know you have been having a really tough time, but you are not alone and I'm sending you huge huggles!
Poppit1
we should talk..wow you sound so much like me. thats all I'll say for now. xo
serenity55