albgray's Journal

It has been a while since I have updated my journal, and quite a while since I have been active on DS. I check in from time to time, but I have not spend much time here this summer.

Most of you know, I was in a car accident in early June (the same day as IUI #5). :( The back pain I suffered has pretty much had us in limbo regarding fertility treatments.  I've been through so many emotions over the whole ordeal, especially feeling a bit depressed and angry because of this unwelcomed break (we were gearing up for IVF in late summer).

Over the past few months, my time has been focused on rehabilitating my back - with nearly 25 PT visits, 5 doctors and, as of yesterday, a couple epidural steroid injections. All that to say, this has consumed my life and I have put everything on hold trying to find some relief.

My latest rehab dr actually suggested that getting pregnant could help my lower back issue (he knows my history). If only it were that easy, right?! I'm going to see how I respond to the steroids, then we'll either continue rehab or move on into IVF soon (keep reading). Over the past few weeks, I have seen some slow improvement in my progress. Here's hoping I am back to "normal" soon.

Now, on to the fun stuff. . .

We had an appointment with the RE on Monday. (Actually, I had to reschedule this appt twice due to the back pain.) It was also time for my annual physical/pap smear, so we kept the appt to discuss next steps with the RE. I really like this guy. He's not overly aggressive, but he doesn't mind "pushing the envelope" when he thinks it could help. He also understands that we have been through a lot over the past 4 years and really wants to help us fulfill our goal of having a family.

So, here's the plan (all this is contigent on my back pain, but we're going to be optimistic and believe this is going to work):

- start DHEA and acupuncture (although I am not a true believer in it, I'm willing to try it again) soon

-In October (or soon after), we will do a hysteroscopy procedure the RE refers to as "fluffing the lining of the uterus." The surgical term for insurance purposes would be called "lysis of adhesions." Because I have always had lining issues (barely make 7 mm), he thinks this can break up (with the use of a forceps tool) any scar tissue I might have and release androgens.

The RE also mentioned that this would give us a better idea if I have anything like Asherman's Syndrome. From what I've read, this is most common in women after multiple miscarriages or a D&C for retained placenta. However, in rare cases, it can be a cause for infertility. We're not thinking I have this, but it's just something to consider as we go into this surgery.

The good news is that this surgery is the treatment for Asherman's, and if it turns out that I am diagnosed with it, then we're doing the right thing. Research shows that women who have Asherman's and suffer with IF have a 70-80% chance of getting pg after the surgery. Does anyone have any insight/experience with this?

My RE has only performed this "fluffing" procedure on 6 patients with history similar to mine. However, 4 of the 6 went on to get pg. It's not a lot of data to compare, but I feel good about the high success rate. 

He said the biggest risk is being put under anesthesia. I'm not too concerned about it (done it many times with no complications). And, if it works, it's worth the extra surgery. Recovery time is just a day or two.

- The plan is to time the next IVF cycle the following month (likely November), so that my lining will be receptive to our embyros. In previous cycles, our embryos looked good, they just had a hard time attaching (2 previous chem pgs).

Speaking of embryos, I don't generally produce many follicles. My FSH is fine, but my response is low-moderate (only 8 mature in IVF #1). Tentativeley, we'll stay on gonal f (I'm near the max dose), use less menopur and add letrozole (anyone used this?). (I think I've got that right...)

We asked the RE to treat this cycle as if it were our last chance for IVF. While I don't want to give up on having a biological child, DH and I have been discussing the million dollar question - where do you draw the line? Emotionally, physically and, especially, financially, I know we need to think about a plan B.

Since we are not personally open to using a donor, we're thinking more about adoption. Today, my heart is a lot more open to the idea than it was a year ago. My DH is even starting to come around on the idea too. We've always thought adoption is a beautiful, selfless thing other people do. Recently, we've been learning through some friends who adopted 1.5 years ago that it is possible to love a child that is not genetically your own. BTW, our friends have two biological children, and will soon be adding #4 to their family via international adoption. 

Ladies, I welcome your feedback on any of the above.

I pray for those of you still on this long, heart-breaking journey and I rejoice with you who have/or will soon have your miracle(s).

Love and hugs to all,

Allison