Journal Entry for January 5, 2008
Today is Sat and I am so lonesome. I miss my daughter so much. I am glad Christmas is over I thought of her so much and I didnt enjoy it at all.4 …
I am a 58 year old granna, I have 3 kids did have 4 grand now just 3.I live in Mobile Alabama been married 36 years. I am disabled i have lung cancer in remission at this time, lungs got burned up inside by radation cant breathe without oxygen but God has a reason for this.
I am a 58 year old granna, I have 3 kids did have 4 grand now just 3.I live in Mobile Alabama been married 36 years. I am disabled i have lung cancer in remission at this time, lungs got burned up inside by radation cant breathe without oxygen but God has a reason for this.
Today is Sat and I am so lonesome. I miss my daughter so much. I am glad Christmas is over I thought of her so much and I didnt enjoy it at all.4 …
has anyone out ther ever had burned lungs from radation? Ive had it and trouble breathing for 4 months not getting much better at all. If you have …
Just no I am thinking of you love Caroline
Hugging you extra tight today...Hugs, Ann
Things just kept getting worse and worse. Once I accepted that I was alone, knowing that, even though it hurt, it really wasn’t anyone else’s problem, I had to figure out how I was best going to handle things on my own without going insane. So, at the end of November, while Mom was still alive, I told my pastor (by email, because I made up my mind and didn’t want the anxiety of a big discussion) that I wasn’t coming back to church. I never expected what came next. A rash of emails spewing all kinds of hurtful venom out at me. Accused me of criticizing everyone in my family and told me he was avoiding me because of that. He didn’t want my family members equating “pastor” with being “humiliated”. I know that was a lie. I still checked with my family to make sure they didn’t feel I had been criticizing them in any way, but I knew it was a lie. It hurt so much. I felt even more alone and now abandoned. I wondered why he didn’t come to me in love if he felt I wasn’t treating my family right, instead of abandoning me and only sharing this with me when he was angry. There were many others false accusations he made. I am still somewhat in shock at his behavior. Still, I left it alone for the time being. It was too much for me to handle. Now, my only regret is that I didn’t leave sooner. I had the best month with my mother. I was so much more relaxed. Of course, she died the day after Christmas, a month after I left church. My church family still wasn’t there for me. My pastor hadn’t even mentioned my mother’s death from the pulpit, like he did for so many others, even though my mother had been there many, many times. Flowers were sent from people as distant as my brothers’ and aunts’ employers. Not only that, my one aunt’s boss and his wife even drove 2 hours to attend the funeral and they didn’t even know my mother from Adam. No flowers, no acknowledgements, nothing from the church family. This is this is the first time in 30 years that I’ve not been going to church. I’ve been in so much pain over this that I don’t feel I’ve even been able to process the grief of losing my mother.
Just Checking on you hope to hear from you soon love Caroline
Came by to see how your doing and to let you know I'm thinking about you love Caroline
Cassie was my grand I raised her from birth. She was murdered Aug 18th this year by her jealous boyfriend.I had a horriable Christmas like every day I miss her so bad it hurts all the time.I wonder why God took her and left me she had so much to live for
I have lung cancer had it for 1 year. had chemo and radation both.