Ailie21's Journal

why do i have to eat so much rubbish!!!!!!!!!!!! bread and cake and juice im on the verge of screaming. i can feel the rolls of fat when i sit down and i hate it! i can only stop for a few days then it just starts all over again. i hate myself sometimes. i wish i could just be harder on myself and not eat it but i always end up eating it .. and never just one bit. Its always the whole thing. i want slimming pills now but i have to wait until i stop feeding jacob which seems like never!!!!! i just want to cry or hide away under my covers but i cant do either because i have to be fucking strong and look after jacob. frustrated to the max.. just want to screammmmmm

im never going be the way i want to be and its killing my spirit trying :(:(:(:(