Good for me
March 30, 2008 7:59pm
I'm finally starting to heal... just a little bit.
I still miss Gatlin like heck every moment of every day, but I'm starting to feel like life …
Progress
50 %
EmilythePerson
10:28pm, August 5, 2008
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About Me
EmilythePerson
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About Me
I'm 15 and a freshman at a Christian school. I play the guitar and I love music. I love to write. I got depression for the first time when I was eight years old. It came first in panic attacks that left me unable to breathe and severe paranoia... depression came soon after, and although I was able to overcome my fears, I still carried depression through most of my childhood. I started cutting when I was eleven, but was able to stop at age fourteen after I rededicated my life to Christ. I've overcome many bumps in the road and I want to use my past to help others. RIP Gatlin.
I'm 15 and a freshman at a Christian school. I play the guitar and I love music. I love to write. I got depression for the first time when I was eight years old. It came first in panic attacks that left me unable to breathe and severe paranoia... depression came soon after, and although I was able to overcome my fears, I still carried depression through most of my childhood. I started cutting when I was eleven, but was able to stop at age fourteen after I rededicated my life to Christ. I've overcome
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Interests
Guitar, music, writing, art, reading, photography, ATV-riding, shopping, texting, Jesus, inner-city-missions...
Guitar, music, writing, art, reading, photography, ATV-riding, shopping, texting, Jesus, inner-city-missions...
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Journal Entry for January 12, 2008
January 12, 2008 2:30am
Well, today was an interesting, kind of hard, so-so kind of day.
In Spanish class (second period), after our quiz, we had our Friday prayer …
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Journal Entry for January 8, 2008
January 8, 2008 9:23pm
So today, I guess I moved up a step in the 'healing process.' I hadn't played guitar in 24 days- since Gatlin died. Today, I …
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Journal Entry for December 30, 2007
December 30, 2007 1:04am
You know what? Bah.
Everything in the world reminds me of Gatlin right now. I'm in Branson, Missouri, and what do half the billboards …
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Journal Entry for December 25, 2007
December 25, 2007 2:54pm
Guess what? It's that time of year. Christmas. That special time of year where everyone is happy and all... familyful and together. …
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Hugbook
Hug
Hey! I don't think I've talked to you in a while.... How are you? C=
I’m With You
...if you ever need someone to talk to... im always here
I’m With You
Thanks honey.
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Prayer
I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, I know how you feel though I lost my daddy in January of this year, if you EVER need to talk, i'm here honey.
I’m With You
ong emily i know what ur going threw i was going on the same road as you a freind died of cancer on october 16 07 and it was the 1st time going to a funeral or a close family frend diein it was hard and painful but dont worry one day u will think less and less and ur gonna feel bad 4 that but am sure ur freind wouldve never liked his freinds and family feeling depressed all day go out and enjoy what you have take care
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Bereavement - Teens
My name is Emily. I am 15 and a Christian. One of my best friends killed himself on December 15 and it's been very hard dealing with the grief. I miss him very much- he was like my big brother, and I STILL can't see life going on without him.
Treatments
- Music Working / Worked
- Music is my escape...
- Remembering Somewhat Helpful
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- My close friends are phenomenal. They are awesome and always there for me.
Close Depression - Teen
I've had depression off and on since the age of eight. I've experienced the pain of depression and overcame it, and now I want to help others overcome as well.
Treatments
- Art Somewhat Helpful
- Art is a great way to express your feelings, but it doesn't always make you feel better.
- Music Working / Worked
- Guitar is definitely my outlet.
- Positive Thinking Considering
- I don't know. In a way, if you act happy, you can somehow get used to it, but if you are depressed and acting happy, then it just makes you feel like you're one big lie.
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- Counseling did NOT work for me... it just pissed me off.
- Writing Working / Worked
- Writing is my outlet. Writing and guitar, yes.
Open High School Stress
Well... I'm in high school. I don't really have a story other than that. I'm in high school and high school is hard?
Treatments
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- Friends are amazing.
Open Self-Injury
I was a cutter, once upon a time, and now I've gotten through that experience. I want to be able to help others through this as well.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- Doesn't work unless you're willing too... and who wants to be forced to go to a shrink?
- Red Marker Considering
- In a way it works... and then in another way, it's really awkward when someone sees red marker scribbled all over your arm.
- Rubber Bands Considering
- Well... I don't think rubber bands worked in a way, because it's kind of encouraging hurting yourself, but it's a heckuva lot better than cutting. I've done it before.
- Talking Considering
- I'm not a talker, personally. And SOMETIMES if I talk, it makes me feel worse.
Open Families & Friends Affected By Suicide
A close friend, Gatlin, killed himself on December 15. It's been hard to deal with this.
Treatments
Open Shyness
I've been shy ever since I was a little girl. I'm not sure why, but I've just always had this terrible fear of talking to people... even people that have been my friends or family for a long time. I've gotten better over the past year or so, but I still am very shy and quiet... it just comes naturally, I suppose.
Treatments
- DailyStrength Too Soon to Tell
- Self-esteem Working / Worked
- Haha that would help if I had more. =]
- Socializing Somewhat Helpful
Open Insomnia
I have had insomnia since I was pretty young. I guess some of it is hereditary, some comes from depression or something I'm struggling at the time, and the rest comes from past trauma and anxiety? Not sure.
Treatments
- Ambien Not Working
- Lunesta Not Working
- This doesn't really help. And it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I don't like it.
- Music Somewhat Helpful
- I can listen to music to focus my mind on something else, but it doesn't put me to sleep. If it's slow enough, sometimes it will make me sleepy.
- Reading Somewhat Helpful
- Sometimes this helps... unless it's the kind of book that I like, which is thriller.
Open Abstinence & Celibacy
I believe in staying pure until marriage. I'm a Christian, and I believe sex outside of marriage is wrong. I don't judge other people for making the opposite decision, but this is my personal belief.
