krissikat's Journal

Today is a hard day emotionally for me. I am in a treatment center for my addiction. Its only been a couple days and I am feeling depression. I am so sad and dont even know why. This is why I started using in the first place. Because of the depression, and it worked. Now that I am clean again, I feel so empty and depressed. The doc here is willing to consider antidepressants but I dont know if my psychiatrist will continue it when I get discharged being as that has always been an issue and she has always refused to try them. So what would be the point of taking them for a week? And I still dont believe in mood stabilizers. I have been praying and I feel so empty. I have this general lack of a relationship with god and I am trying to seek one out but I feel stuck somewhere. I dont know what is wrong but I just feel blank and empty and I am scared. I want to be better.