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cme4me 
I have benn trying to find a way through this mess. I talk to ex and he denies every or won't say anything regarding the new girl friend He won't say anything until I sign the seperation agreement. I am so afraid to sign anything because the kids told me she was making a game room in her house for them. I feel like I need to compete and she will be part of there lives and I am trapped. How does anyone handle this. He won't say and the unknown is killing me inside. How does anyone share there kids without the fear of losing them.
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I am still trying to find my way. Last week was my week with the kids and I think I do better when they are with me. I know she was at his house last night. It hurts so much because when he picked up the kids on Sunday he hugged me and felt me up a few times and said look what you do to me. (hard-on) I feel like if he doesn't want me why hugged and all that. Then after he leaves me he is with her. I really am trying to think logically and move on but I seem to not be alble to get him out of my head and think of the best times we had. I know I should be thinking of all the shit we went through but can't seem to do it.
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I feel your pain. My husband did the same sort of stuff. He was here on Christmas trying to take me to bed (I didn't because he had been cheating before, long story). I then get the cellphone bill and he was text-messaging two other women that day. He used to say he couldn't help being attracted to me, but that is so insulting when he is with another woman. I respect myself more than that. He has since decided to make it serious with this chick and has brought my boys around her too. It's just such selfishness. I'm still trying to find my way too. Last time the kids were gone I had a great time to myself, just to find out he brought them around the girlfriend. This time they are gone, I haven't been as motivated. I'm thinking of you and relate.
Today I am not feeling any better. I can't sleep, eat or get myself together. My husband called last night to speak to the boys and when I spoke to him and asked him to please be honest with me about his new friend he kepts deneying any relationship other then friends. He told me as soon as I sign the seperation paper he will be honest with me. I feel like they is a bomb waiting for me.
Past Entries
| February 2007 |
Sunday, 2/04
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That is my biggest fear. I don't want to be the every other weekend dad. But ultimately there is little I can do but take care of the the best I can for now and enjoy them while I have them.
ChrisP