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JulesP 
Not sure what to say really. I'm slowly working through the book 'Fearless' by Wayne Froggat, and feel better for trying to do something. I still have patches though where I just feel 'crazy'. The world doesn't make sense, and I feel dizzy and detatched and adrift. I get so scared that these are signs of mental illness of another kind, although I'm starting to suspect I have blood-sugar issues. It's been good to be in NZ with my family again, but I still get scared and don't know why. I have trust issues, and have been very hurt recently by someone I love and rely upon, and it's raised all the other trust issues that I thought had 'gone away'. Part of me suspects something happened to me when I was young (abuse) because my first memory is an unpleasant trip to a hospital or doctor for a gyn. examination. I was all of about 4 I think. I haven't got the courage yet to ask my mother what the memory means. It makes me feel ill. I'm just trying to learn to cope at the moment, and figure out where life will take me next.
